Relationships - Just a Snippet

I spend some time in another forum discussing relationships, marriage mostly, and sometimes friendships or topics related to children. I have a few thoughts I felt like posting here in order to bore my sisters some more. They really dislike the serious posts that I do, they'd rather laugh at the silly things their nephews do or say. I can't blame them, however, there are a few things I find important or noteworthy to discuss. Life isn't all about smelling good and eating chocolate.

One question was posed about the "myth" of happy marriages, and this particular woman's frustration with men. I responded:

Marriage is a trial, like all relationships. The first years are rough. They're a learning process, they involve anger and love, fighting and making up. It's taking time to find footing with one another and figure out a way to continue to spark the relationship while balancing life, work, and most likely children. I certainly don't see how men can be to blame for most of the issues, both partners play a part. If you've personally experienced or seen negative relations fall out due to the man, I believe those are circumstantial. Men and women are truly more similar than we are different. Respect is the main key...in any relationship, be that romantic, friendship, paternal, sibling, etc. It's the glue to it all, in my personal opinion.

The question was posed to some about WHO creates your happiness when you're married and how much a part does your spouse play in that. I responded:

I don't think it should be said that the PERSON is the source of the new unhappiness. It could be how you find yourself as a husband and decide that it doesn't suit you. It could be that how your wife finds herself as a wife doesn't suit you. It could be that sharing space with someone day in and day out doesn't suit you.

None of these possibilities (and a lot more possibilities not mentioned) SPECIFICALLY MEAN that the PERSON is the source of unhappiness, but rather that the joining of the two of you and the new roles you've found yourselves in doesn't suit the person who becomes unhappy.

I think it's wrong to assume the finger can be pointed at a person when sometimes...it's just the circumstances. NOW...how you choose to handle/change/manipulate/mold the circumstances can determine future happiness, I do believe.

The question was asked about speaking to our children about sex, what age, how do you approach it, how was it done for you...etc. She mentioned all the crazy things that are taking place with children now adays and what they're learning outside of the home whether we acknowledge it or not. I responded:

My husband already talks to 11 year old...and every time the baby cries...he asks him if he wants one of his own. He's constantly keeping dialogue, for better, or worse. I think talking is important, even if we never had it growing up. All issues you mentioned are reasons to have this dialogue...RUNNING dialogue until they're married.

In the marriage discussion board, it was asked which celebrities get the "boyfriend/girlfriend" pass for us and our spouses. My sisters always rag on me thinking I ONLY find Black men attractive. NOT true. So here I will give you some examples, little sisters. Pllllbbbbbhhh.

Hugh Jackman

James Marsden
Heath Ledger (RIP)