Wednesday, September 30, 2009

OJ and "Incident Reports"

This week has been good for OJ. Good if you consider getting "written up" good. He's currently hangin' in the 12-18 month old Dolphin Room at daycare. He's about to be 18 months October 11th. They've started his "transition phase" to the Penguin Room for 18-24 month old kids. This transition is taking place a bit early because OJ....is....well....he's a bit apprehensive about "change" as they put it. I call it being stubborn, bull-headed, and acting like a downright Ahole.

Yes, everyone, I called my adorable little toddler an Ahole. Do you need proof?

Incident reports. Every school has them. Some schools have policies that "X" amount of reports will get you kicked out. We haven't gotten that far yet. Thank goodness. Who's going to take in the "incident report" child? I wouldn't! Those questionnaires they give you always ask, "Why are you changing childcare facilities?" What would my answer be? He got kicked out? Seriously? At 18 months?

So, Monday and Tuesday, OJ scored two for two on incident reports. In his defense, these are the first two we've gotten. Both reports are for scratching his friends. On their faces. The school seems to believe this behavior is "perfectly, developmentally normal" and that it's due in part to his transition to the older kid room. He's "asserting" himself, they say. Again, I say Ahole.

My baby is incredibly sweet during certain moments. He's also incredibly strong-willed and believes everything, EVERYTHING, has to be his way. And only his way. Yes, yes, you all say and nod along. All toddlers go through this at some point. WELL...let me tell you they DON'T.

TO, my now 5 year old, didn't. And WOW was I the naive mommy to think that the second child being raised in the same house with the same parents and coming into this world NOT as an only child (TO and OJ have an older 1/2 brother as most of you know) would behave in relatively the same fashion.

In addition to the incident reports, he's got a "new talent" as the ladies who care for him daily call it. He walks up to his "friends" at school and pushes them in the forehead with his palm - and tips them over. I am now dealing with the incident-reported, has-to-be-shadowed, cowtoddler-tipping bully at Toddlerville.

Oh. And TO? Still doing magnificently in kindergarten, doing first grade work. I just can't wait to brag about OJ in this manner....and pretend that these reports and tipping excursions are a distant memory.

Ponderings of the Vlog (cont)

Last night, I attempted to ask beg plead strong-arm coerce demand Hubs to participate in a vlog. I thought I could give you our hook-up/dating story in a vlog, with him. He refused. He wants nothing to do with the blog, let alone a vlog.

This morning, I "practiced" some interview techniques with TO on the way to school. I rested the camera on the passenger seat top and held it in place while I drove, asking him questions. It was actually pretty cute until I accidentally deleted it from the camera. Oops.

Oh, and OJ made a cameo on that deleted video of TO. I started off by pointing the camera at him and said, "Owen, say hi. Say hi to the camera." He said, "NO!" and waved his hand at it before turning his head away. I told you all he was evil.

I "practiced" giving you a glimpse of my drive to work while I drove along at 70 miles an hour. I really wonder what all the people going past thought of me...holding a camera....driving along....aiming the camera at them. Oops.

I thought about bringing the camera into my office and vlogging with Michelle, but I don't know if she'd have gone for that. If she's game, I can still go get it. It's in my car. I'm not sure what we'd talk about though....everyone we'd talk about would hear us over "the wall". Hmmm.
**I just read her blog post for today and maybe we have something here.....*

I will continue to work on it. Some of you had some really good suggestions...doing the Mumbles as a vlog is bouncing around. I just don't know if I can trim all those thoughts into a short video. I tend to babble. Can you tell?

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

To Vlog or Not to Vlog

What would I vlog about? THAT is the question.

I know many people who love technology these days. Instead of reading a news article, they can click the link to view a 30 second video clip and get the story. Me? I'm a reader. I actually avoid the links that have stories AND videos. I don't know why. But yesterday, Dorkys got me thinking while I watched her clubbin' video. I had a lot of fun going along with her and her friends that night. I rode the metro, went to a club, and rode home with them in a taxi (I presume). I watched NYC wizz past me in the dark, I listened to Dorkys and her friends chatter excitedly about the evening, I listened to the music "alongside" them. I had fun.

Last week, I was able to peek into Jessica Bern's kitchen while she performed. Yes, I call it performing, JBern. You have to view her to believe her. She's absolutely nuts. I had so much fun being "with her".

Would you want to "come with me"? What would I share with you? A car ride to work? A moment in time playing with the boys? Cooking dinner? A tour of the house of TOOJ? (That won't happen, don't get your hopes up.) I could "weekend update" via voice (and yes, that just became a verb). Hubs and I could have a discussion about ANYTHING and it would probably make most of you married people thankful you aren't married to us, and conversely make you single people happy to be single. I could do an interview with someone, I suppose. Hmmm. Possibilities.

While I ponder, I will indulge in a Coca-Cola. What, may I ask, are you indulging in?

*If you don't go view those two links, you're missing out. At least the first few minutes of Dorkys' if you don't have time for the nearly 10 minute video. No wonder it took a lifetime to load, woman!*

Monday, September 28, 2009

Monday Mumbles

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood....won't you be mine.....Oh, wait. Monday. We're not supposed to be cheery. Let's Mumble.

1. Asthma hit the house last night and I ended up on the couch. TO decided to have a coughing spell (which is his way of saying "asthma attack") and so I administered breathing treatments via nebulizer at 4am. TO and I both slept on the couches. OJ did NOT sleep well, kept fussing and tossing and turning. I gave him a slight puff on the neb around 9pm, but it didn't seem to help too much. I expected him to wake up extra grumpalicious, but he was surprisingly chipper and upbeat. Yea for Mondays.

2. I was so tired from the night and we overslept this morning. I didn't even attempt to straighten my hair. I usually always pull it in a pony-tail anyhow but this morning? It's fuzzy and stuff....miscellaneous strands dangling on the sides and standing on the top. Yea for Mondays.

3. Yesterday was Sunday. My friend and I were slotted to run 6.2 miles for our long run. I called her around9am, half hoping to catch her and tell her we shouldn't do it, and half hoping I wouldn't catch her so that I'd feel obligated to go. I didn't catch her. But I also didn't move from my couch. I tried. I thought about it. I sat and pondered where a sports bra was so that I could get dressed to go. And then she called. "I quit," she said flatly. I didn't think much of it, she says things like this a lot, usually after she runs. "Oh....did you run?" I asked, disappointed she beat me to completing it today. "I quit. I stopped in the middle of the run and went home. I quit." I paused for a moment, and then exhaled. "THANK YOU," I said. "I couldn't get motivated to do it. I'm just too tired." This was the truth. T-Ball is a tiring sport, people. Long convo short, we decided our hearts weren't in the training, and we were running out of time each day to fit in training. I will continue to run, but I am taking solace in the fact that I've technically already ran a 1/2 marathon when I was training for a full.....SIX++ YEARS AGO. I'm old. I know it. I'm okay with this.

4. I made an appointment for Hubs to get his new knee brace this morning. The dimwit brace office didn't place the order when I called and so he went there for no reason this morning. "They'll have it for him tomorrow" they said. Blah.

5. We attended another birthday party this weekend, another girl. This time, it was at their house. On the way there, TO was very excited to visit her house. He asked if his next birthday could be at his house so that his friends could come over. I cringed. Our house is tiny. I barely enjoy hosting my family in our tiny, blue carpeted house, let alone strangers. I will have to find a way around this.

6. In addition to feeling guilty that I don't want his friends over (we may do singular playdates to ease them into our tiny abode), I felt so odd at the party with the other moms. I don't know why, but I do. I don't feel like "a mom". I see these other moms and they look like I remember my mom when I was younger. They look like MOMs. They have mom do's, mom clothes, mom demeanors. I felt like TO's big sister. The hosting mother told a story about how one of the children at school said to her daughter, "Lauren! Your grandma is here to pick you up!" Yeah. I can't relate. My mother watched OJ during Saturday's T-ball game and some lady said to her, "Your son is so adorable!" My mother didn't correct her. **I just realized this little story was in my "Shane Shoe". That's how old and forgetful I am.**

7. Another thing? There were healthy snacks out for us to nibble on. I liked them, they were yummy. But I wanted the cupcakes. Like three of them. I settled for one large and one small. I'm certain the other mothers refrained or just helped themselves to snacks OR a cupcake. I needed both.

8. As you saw in my weekend post, I'm making headway on my scrapbooking. I need to get OJ's first birthday one (yes, nearly 6 months have passed), and then I have to do TO's 5th party. After that, I can get back to work on the "family" book (Hubs and I during the dating years) or the family vacation book needs to get started. What's exciting is that my friend wants to get started scrapping. She's bought a book and I'm hoping we can get together (maybe with a couple of other friends who just want to hang out even if they don't want to scrap???) and spend a few hours getting her started and helping me finish one of the projects I've started.

9. I must go to the grocery store and get some food. I would like for some of you to leave a quick recipe idea (or just a meal idea without all the recipe details). I need something different in our routine.

10. While I wait for another Book Club pick, I am re-reading a book called "The Book of Illusions" by Paul Auster. I read this years ago and frankly don't recall many of the details. It's nice to have a book in my hands again....especially since I took the lazy way out of this marathon thing. :)

Happy Monday!

**I have my first "Monday Mumbles" linker-upper. Feel free to do it yourself, link to me, and then mention you've done it in your comments!**

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Weekend Update

Just a few pictures to tell part of our weekend story. I hope that every one of you had as much entertainment as I did. If you didn't and want to change your luck, feel free to contact me via email to set up a "rent to own" plan. We'll start with OJ and work our way to the older, more expensive children.

(for any Child Services fanatics....this is a joke. I need to put that out there. I love my children. Most days. Okay, everyday, but only during SOME moments.)

Hubs bought eye-black for Till back when he played ball a couple of years ago. The eye-black has gotten good use. Just not for ball playing. It's become "make-up" for characters. Typically these characters fight some sort of make believe kung fu. In their underwear. Without shirts. Sometimes? The eye-black can become chest hair and goatees. Yes, our house is exciting on Saturday nights.
OJ can't stand to be left behind so he now puts on deodorant with Hubs in the morning time. Never mind the sissy purple sweatband he's got on. I try to.
There's nothing like visiting a blog of a potty training mom. This happens to be Hubs catching it on camera. I don't think I'd subject you to pooh pictures, but since he took them....YEA for OJ! Later this morning, he told me "pooh pooh" and so we sat again, but he only "pee peed." He doesn't distinguish quite yet.

I've been busy trying to catch up on my scrapbooks. I took a hiatus for a few weeks while my "stuff" covered the kitchen table. The boys have been subjected to eating dinner in front of the TV *GASP*. They'll live, I suppose. I am completing OJ's first birthday party pages and thought I'd share a couple. I always do an invitation page, shown above.
This is probably going to be my favorite page of his first birthday. It's classic OJ during that first year. If you enlarge and read the sticker...it's perfect. :) Love my little cry baby!
Have a wonderful week!

Peanut Scare Clarification

TO has the peanut allergy. Friday at school he took two bites of a banana nut muffin before the teachers realized he'd been served the "regular" treat instead of given a "special" one for him.

They placed him by the teacher to watch for any signs of a reaction (the one and only time we ever experienced a reaction it went from hives on his face, to vomit, to voice change). He had none.

This could be because the two bites he took had no nut in them. It could be because the nut in these muffins are typically walnut and not peanut. It could have been because they thought they served banana nut when in actuality it was only banana muffins? We won't know.

He's fine. No reaction. I know we'll have scares as he continues to trek through elementary school. We just have to remind him to not get complacent and remember to always ask what he's being served. We have to make this "issue" his responsibility. He's learning. He just became comfortable that the school "knows". I'm glad he trusts them. I need him to rely on himself more.

That's what happened. Thanks for the concern and well wishes. Mama gets worried and frustrated but TO is like...."I'm cool." So I must be cool. But it doesn't mean I hate the peanut any less.

Happy Sunday.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Shane Shoe

That's what it sounds like when OJ says "thank you". He bunches his lips and his cheeks get suddenly "full" and the "shhh" sound becomes prominent. Funny how "NO" is clear as day.

Tonight I just wanted to send out a few "Shane Shoes" of my own.

MOM - Thanks for lunch. And for coming to watch TO's T-ball game. I know you see "less game, more OJ", and we appreciate all the help we've gotten while we attempt to coach.

TO - Thanks for playing your hardest today. You had a couple of really great hits off the tee. I can't wait for you to start playing coach pitch soon!

OJ - Thank you for being SO GOOD for Grandma. You even helped Grandma out today when some lady thought you were sooooooo cute and told Grandma, "Your son is adorable." Did Grandma correct her mistake? Of course not. You did Grandma proud by not telling on her.

TILL - Thanks for being a base coach during the game. It really helps the kids to know where and when to run. We appreciate your help!

HUBS - Thanks for taking all three boys to the movie after T-ball and THEN keeping them away from the house while you were "out and about" for a few hours. I think I slept for over 2 hours. It was bliss.

Happy Saturday everyone.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Ode to the Peanut

I hate you.
I really do.
But more than that,
I hate your goo.
That stuff called butter?
Yeah, it's the beast.
Mama loved it,
It was her feast.
Baby's in the belly
Rolling about.
Mama's eating sandwiches
feeding her snout.
She doesn't realize
Five years later,
A phone call from school
She will hate her.
Hate her younger self
For not knowing better.
That goo of yours
Brings us to this letter.
You scared me then,
You scared me today.
I know it'll happen again
But please let him stay.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Driving Miss Toojie

Ever wonder or picture how I'm getting to and from work? While I jot down Mumbles? And text? And answer the phone? Not all at once (generally). Let's take a little trip down the road and see what's gotten Tooj to and from.....(None of these vehicles were/are MINE...they're pics from the net to resemble what I used to own.)

1984 Chevy Chevette
I had this bad boy in a baby blue color, and without the dude sitting in it. I drove this car from August 1992 through March 1995. That'd be my freshman, sophomore, and most of my junior year of high school. His name was Gordon (the car, not the dude) and had a "PUSH" sticker on his back window. Gordon was a fine car without any mechanical difficulties.
1987 Pontiac Sunbird
When I returned from France in March 1995, I didn't see Gordon sitting in my mom's driveway. I saw a car resembling this, only in navy blue all over. Mechanically this car was a heap, and I'm sure my mom wishes she wouldn't have chosen it. Right mom? But it got me through 1995-1998 - my senior year in high school and then freshman and sophomore year in college. When it finally was laid to rest, it was only running on 2 of its 4 cylinders.

1991 Mitsubishi Eclipse

After my sophomore year at KU, the summer of 1998, the '87 navy blue Pontiac was traded in for this Eclipse. She looked pretty, and she was my first manual drive. I had been taught to drive my mom's stick shift car, but this was my first, and I was excited. Too bad the Eclipse never liked to shift very well from first to second gear. And the mechanical headaches she gave me were too numerous to remember. She did get me from the summer of '98 through mid-winter 2000, though. That is when I promptly ran her head-first into a stopped Toyota Rav4. My one and only wreck.

1999 Ford Explorer Sport
After the poor Eclipse went to her death, I stupidly purchased this 1999 Ford Explorer Sport, in black as pictured. Stupid because it was more than I could afford each month AND it was rear-wheeled drive. Ever tried driving in snow with rear-wheel drive? It doesn't happen. I won't bore you with details of my snowy-covered slides across interstates. Suffice it to say that I should be dead. Twice. When TO came around, I decided I wanted a four-door vehicle. Conveniently Hubs' car had been stolen from the side of the highway when it broke down one winter night, so he inherited the Explorer and I bought my four-door.

2001 Honda Accord
Picture this 2001 Honda Accord in silver and that's me from late 2004 through Spring 2009. LOVE my Accord. Hubs decided to crash the poor Explorer in early 2005 and purchased himself another vehicle while I drove the Accord. Spring 2009 brought about yet another mechanical difficulty in this "purchase" of his and it was the final straw. We aired up the ever-deflating tire, drove to the Honda dealership, traded in his heap and bought ME.....
......my current beauty, my 2006 Honda Pilot, in the green pictured above. Hubs traded in his poor little purchase and has now inherited the Accord. Hubs hates my hand-me-downs, but I love Honda.

Chevette found here
Sunbird found here
Eclipse found here
Explorer found here
Accord found here
Pilot found here

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan - Thoughts

I.Loved.This.Book.

What a powerful story about girlfriends, women, relationships, marriage, and children. The setting is 19th Century China when female children and females in general were "inconsequential", save their ability to produce a male child. Not only that, they were forced into practices and rituals common for the culture and times. While it would be easy to say that their life is nothing like ours, that their trials and hardships are not like ours, I find it far more interesting to take the approach that the women in this book are much more similar to women today than originally thought at first glance.

After visiting with a girlfriend, she simply said, "I have a book for you." When she returned with the book and stated, "I thought of you when I read it," I instantly became nervous and intrigued simultaneously. She was very good not to elaborate on the book's details (I detest knowing any contents and prefer to dive in dumb and blind), but she seemed certain I would be interested and I came to mind when she read it. My first reaction was to feel flattered. I don't recall the last time a friend read or saw something and thought of me (that didn't involve sports paraphernalia). WHAT about THIS book could possibly bring me to mind? I wanted to open it, then and there.

Without giving away much of the plot (because I think all women should go find this book and read it for themselves), Lily the narrator is paired with Snow Flower to become "old sames". The pairing of girls at a young age as "old sames" was a practiced tradition and reflected status, but more than that it gave two girls a sisterhood that typically lasted a lifetime. They were given the opportunity to bond with another female, someone they could turn to, lean on, share secrets with, and just "be" in harmony with when the duties of mother, wife, and daughter-in-law left women emotionally unfulfilled. A lesser status match consisted of women grouped in threes or fours, calling themselves "sworn sisters". A discussion question at the end of the book asked if we believe these concepts of "old sames" and "sworn sisters" exists today. I wondered, do we see these types of relationships played out as intently, with seriousness and emotion and determination, that Lily and Snow Flower do?

My first reaction was no. Women are not bonded so closely anymore, nor do they need to be, in part because men have evolved into "softer" creatures and women have evolved into "harder" creatures, making matrimonial relationships more compatible. I do believe that the evolution of relating has required these changes in a man/woman pairing. Many women have demanded it and many men have grudgingly complied, to an extent. But then I stopped myself. I said, "Self, that is the easy answer. Look deeper." And when I did, realized that maybe some women DO have "sworn sisters". Do sororities at universities NOT call themselves sisters? Maybe they experience this life-long sense of belonging and connection with females, females who will constantly find themselves overlapping stories and experiencing similar feats, emotions, and losses. "Maybe, Self...YOU just don't have it."

As Lily and Snow Flower grew from 7 year olds into pre-teens into pre-wedded young women, they instantly connected and attempted to develop their relationship. I began to wonder if opening up to a companion is a natural ability or something borne out of necessity. It was expected that women would take such good friends into their hearts. This isn't expected of us in American culture, nor is it encouraged, in my opinion. Do you think we encourage our children, especially girls, to seek out and find support in well-matched companions?

As I read along, I became more envious of the relationship that Lily and Snow Flower shared. They each believed that the other had something special to teach them. They unknowingly made assumptions about one another and their ability to influence each other, thus creating the age-old communication gap. There is a moment where, while we know Lily's perception of Snow Flower and what she believes Snow Flower's perception of her was, it all becomes blurred. How do we ever really know what we're doing reaches our intended audience? How do we know what our audience is trying to gain from us? Maybe you've found yourself feeling inferior in an elegant setting when, all along, another party member had been admiring your grace all evening long. If we don't tell our friends what it is about them we admire and respect and hold dear, how will they ever know how they've reached our hearts?

I have so much more I could say about this book and what questions it led me to, but this is getting lengthy, even for a windbag like me. I wanted to touch on the following topics from the book:

*the hot summer night bed scene

*why men allowed or tolerated the secret writing/communication between women

*the traditional roles of men and women and how they have a place in today's society

If anyone has read this book and wants to post lengthy comments, please do. Questions? Ask. I would love to hear from anyone who's read it and might be interested in a virtual discussion on various aspects. I only had one question left to ponder- When my friend suggested the book...what role was I playing, in her mind? Did she specifically tie me (and her?) to a character? I wonder.....

Monday, September 21, 2009

Short Story - by TO

wunts upnu
tim Thar
was a KaoBoY
namD Turner
anD Turner
wus GoweeN
For a wok
anD weN Hee
Got Thar Hee sa a
anumoL wokeen
oN The shTreeT The KaoBoy
Got The anmol
oFF The ShTreeT
The EnD

Monday Mumbles

Good Monday morning. Ten random things, as usual.

1. I am trying out something new - "anyone" can comment, including anonymous commenters. I realized since I have the comment moderation on, there should be no harm in allowing anonymous voices, right? We'll see. It's a trial. But this is for anyone who doesn't have a google account and who might be reading along just for fun.....feel free to shoot your opinion out there.

2. I initially started this blog out as a place to think about mommy stuff, kid stuff, family stuff. It's evolved into a mixed bag of everything. Some stuff kiddie, some stuff just for me. Not even me as a mommy or wife, just ME as ME. I wondered this weekend that if I were really up on my game, I might consider two separate blogs, one about the family, one for my rambling thoughts. And then I realized something - separating would be impossible. I am ME, mommy, wife, worker, housekeeper, all rolled into one. The Mumbles are a prime example that the jumbled life that is Jessica is all of it, all at once.

3. Every Sunday I have to do my long run for this 1/2 marathon training. Every Sunday I think that I might possibly die. When I complete the run, I am satisfied that I finished, but wonder how could I possibly GO another mile? That was all I had in me! But somehow, every Sunday I tack on another mile, and do it. I suppose this is a bit what life is like. We think we're pushed to the limit, but when we're handed another plate to juggle....we do. And it works.

4. Today I was THAT gal in traffic who crossed the right line to block people from driving on the shoulder to get past everyone. As soon as I did, another SUV did, and then a semi. Everyone seemed to be at their breaking point, and for this I was glad. Besides, it's just dangerous to drive on the shoulder with so many cars stacked behind one another. We're trying to get past one wreck, we don't need another.

5. Contrary to the wildly exciting blog I have here, it's actually difficult to come up with ten random things to tell you about each week. Oh sure, at first it wasn't. I thought you needed to know every single detail of my weekend or morning. But I don't see mean mommy at daycare anymore, I haven't saved a pigeon from the road recently, and there are no turtle missions to speak of. I just wanted to spend this Mumble whining. Thank you for listening.

6. Yesterday I told my dad I'd be at his house to get the children around 4pm. After our Raiders beat the Chiefs, I knew my dad would be in a GREAT mood. You know what I did? I prolonged my visit with my girlfriends and showed up late. I knew the elation from the game would offset any fatigue he'd experienced having all three of them for 24 hours.

7. I have one more book "review" to post up. I promise you, TSW, it'll happen either later today or tomorrow. AT THE LATEST. I have some notes written up, I'm just finding it difficult to form what I think about it all into a coherent post. You know I loved it though, so just sit tight. For the rest of you, especially females, I highly recommend Snow Flower and the Secret Fan. Wonderful book. Simply wonderful.

8. Last night we returned home too late for me to force the kids into baths. I walked them out of the car and straight to their beds. They all promptly fell asleep. This morning I knew I'd have to do baths, so I woke Till up and forced him to the shower. After the shower he went to his room to get ready. OJ followed him of course...to babble and point and holler. After I minute, I poked my head into the room to prod Till out to breakfast. What did I see? Yes, that's right. Till took his shower, went to his room, put on his underwear, and crawled back into bed. The nightmare of the pre-teen years are in full force. No wonder OJ was hollering at him.

9. I had to look at myself on Saturday and realize something. I will never be that "grown-up" mommy that you see around the playgrounds, sitting quietly and reading or visiting with other grown-up mommies. I'm almost 32, and I still wanted to climb around with TO on the equipment during the birthday party. No wait, scratch that. I didn't "want to"....I DID. Yes, that's right. I was the embarrassing mommy that climbed around the equipment with my child. I'm also the embarrassing mommy that does frog leaps with the kids at T-ball. Oh, and the bear crawl. With my booty up in the air. Because bear crawl technique is important to T-ball. I'm sure Hubs was proud.

10. Michelle here at work just reminded me that it's the first day of Fall. Autumn. The beginning of the gross seasons. She said, "Oh come on, it's not that bad." Apparently she thinks I like cooler temperatures, dressing up for Halloween, the Christmas season. I don't. Cold weather pisses me off and I hate being bulky with clothing. It's restrictive and I feel slightly claustrophobic. As for Halloween....eh. My poor TO doesn't even get half the candy he can collect because of the whole "nut" thing. OJ is too small, and Till has outgrown the desire to go. Yes, we take them. I'm not THAT cruel. Christmas, until the last year or two, has always been a huge burden for me. Undertaking the upkeep of tradition for my siblings (when they were younger) weighed down on me, and I have yet to recover from the blues it created. I'm trying and I fake it really well. But Autumn and Winter do not mix well with Tooj. I will just be sure and stock up on good books. FB club, Dorkys.....keep me stocked.

Happy Monday.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Weekend Update

Happy Sunday evening to you. I wish I had some photos to share with you regarding our weekend,but I do not. It is typically what "Weekend Update" is supposed to be, but alas I am an irresponsible mother and left my camera at a friend's house and failed to retrieve it until late this weekend. BUT, in case you're into reading, here's how we spent a very lovely, sunshiny weekend.

Saturday morning brought the usual - T-ball in the morning and scattering of the fam in the afternoon. After last week's T-ball game, I had a conversation with TO. I asked him why he appeared sad or disinterested in the games when we're there. I explained that I didn't seem him smiling much or interacting with his teammates too often, and wondered if he could help me bring some "fun" to the team while we wait to bat and are in the outfield. He said that he could, but he also explained his behavior by telling me, "I'm not sad, Mama. I'm just being serious." Can't hate the kid for taking his T-ball seriously, I suppose. He did, however, take me up on my request and was giggling with his friends, counting, comparing height and age. The usual "non-serious" T-ball happenings.

After the game, TO and I took off on our own for a birthday party he'd been invited to attend. The party was for a girl from his kindergarten class. I feared that he would be the only boy there (as he was at another girl party back in January '08), and aside from her male cousin, he was. At least this time two other party goers were gals from his class as well. They played and enjoyed themselves.....FOR THREE AND A HALF HOURS. And I believe we were the first party poopers to leave. Seriously. 3 1/2 HOURS. I had college football to watch. I had laundry I wanted to do and dishes to wash. Who am I kidding? My dad was expecting the boys for an overnight stay and I wanted my ADULT time.

We got home, I showered, and then all five of us piled into the Pilot and took the kids down to my dad's. We arrived around 6:00pm, dropped the boys off to help prepare a neighborhood bonfire, and Hubs and I went to get dinner. We were free....at least for a few precious hours. We had dinner and went home, very uneventful but relaxing. Dinner was pleasant, as was our conversation. Sometimes I remember why we like one another.

Sunday was Heaven. I slept in until 8:45. I dreaded getting up, however, as I was scheduled to run. 8 miles. Ugh. Ouch. I called my training partner. I don't really know why I called her. She's been unenthusiastic about running and says she's only doing it for me. She answered, she was perky, and I wanted to vomit. Awake, perky, AND already done with the 8 miles. Not only that, she did her 50 minute cross training that was slated for Saturday TODAY. 8 miles PLUS an hour long bike ride. Are you FLIPPING kidding me? I was dreading this run.

I finally set out, legs heavy, mind busy. As I plodded along, I started thinking of my friend. Instead of getting discouraged that she was so annoyingly pleasant after the run, I found comfort that she completed it, found it less traumatizing than the 7 miles from last week, and I started to feel better. I completed the first 7 miles in 60 minutes (unknown seconds...I'm guessing around 40), 1 minute faster than last week, and finished all 8 miles in 69 min, 42 seconds. My body is tired, but I am happy that it didn't kill me as I'd anticipated. The highlight? Hubs stopped along my route twice and gave me water. Quite the cheerleader he can be.

After a shower, I kissed Hubs (because he also scrubbed and washed my car) and off I went to a gathering of old friends. Best girlfriend/training partner was there, and two other old girlfriends as well. The four of us have been friends since elementary school and get together periodically, when schedules allow. I left today thinking that schedules need to allow this more often. We chatted about the kids, the men, the neighbors. We watched my Raiders beat the Chiefs. We saw one friend's C-section scar, shared the baby pudge that will never completely disappear no matter how many miles you run. We ate, we laughed, we discussed orgasms and the demand for sex. One friend breastfed, the other cleaned puke, I relished my childless moment, and the fourth friend was probably silently thanking her stars she had no children. All in all, it was what it should have been. I am thankful I have my friends.

I arrived to get the kids exactly 24 hours after I'd dropped them off. 24 hours. It was wonderful. As were the hugs and smiles I received when I got out of the car.

I hope that you had a wonderful weekend and can share a happy moment with us. Happy Sunday.

Friday, September 18, 2009

The Time Traveler's Wife - Thoughts

I already knew that I was a fairly "grounded" person. I don't mean to say that I am more solid and stable in this lifetime. No, that would be false. But grounded in reality, in the present, in the "I can see, hear, and feel it" kind of way. I don't do Star Wars or Star Trek, and fluffy Sci-Fi (see: Charmed) don't usually do it for me. Somehow, though, I was able to dive into The Time Traveler's Wife and believe it was possible. Maybe this occurred because it was a love story and I'm always a sucker for those. Maybe it was the gentle, but matter of fact, presentation of Henry's unique quality that allowed me to "believe". Whatever it was, I started to wonder if time travelers really exist. The next naked man I see in the street or hear about on a plane, I'm asking.

I didn't really know where to begin for my thoughts on the book. I'm a chunker of thoughts, and like to jot them down as I go along to help me remember what I was feeling at a particular instance. I didn't do that with TTTW, and I wish I would have. Instead, I found a site for book club questions and thought I might tackle a couple of those.

Why do you think Niffenegger used the title The Time Traveler's Wife instead of just The Time Traveler?

Funny how this was the first question for the book club AND it was my first question when I started reading it. It easily could have been called The Time Traveler, and all events surrounding are simply that - events surrounding. I think the love story would have been lessened if it was simply a book about Henry and his experiences as the traveler. Having a Time Traveler as a main character sets him apart regardless, and by giving Clare the title, it "ups the ante", if you will, for their relationship and allows the story to unfold around it.

The story is sometimes told by Clare, sometimes by Henry. Did you like how it was organized?

I find it more interesting to experience yourself through someone else's eyes. By allowing both Clare and Henry to tell the story, we are allowed into their self-reflection during first-person narration but immediately turn and see them through the eyes of another character. We hear their thoughts, but then see their mannerisms. It was a unique way to allow the characters to take on both positive and negative traits that are sometimes missed when the book's voice is only one. Could you imagine being able to come to the Square Table, every other day getting to read Hubs' words about me? Of course I would never allow that because I'm too shallow to let you see the dark side of Tooj.

Who is your favorite character?

I generally am quick to pick a favorite and it's typically who the author intends for everyone to like. I'm pretty vanilla when it comes to character choosing. I like you if you're good, I don't like you if you're not. Simple, right? But not so much with this book, in my opinion. My first inclination is to love Henry. I don't think I ever wavered from that. He did the best he could with what he was given, in my opinion. Jumping from year to year, naked, sometimes freezing temperatures to deal with and cops chasing you....who wouldn't spend every waking "normal" moment of your present in the comfort of a loving bed partner? I never once was turned off by his obvious lack of eloquence when he was younger. He was coping and I tend to have a soft spot for those who cope in ways that might be considered unorthodox, rude, or even illegal. I won't elaborate on that point.

Clare as a favorite? I really enjoyed younger Clare, but as forgiving and accepting as I was of Henry's faults as an adult, I had less for Clare. Is that because I tend to think women in general should have more self-control? Or maybe it's because I considered her "normal" and thought she should be able to restrain from making choices that wouldn't suit her future. She had the advantage of knowing she would (again) meet her husband, and yet she succumbed to Gomez. Not once, but twice. And strangely enough, the first encounter should have made me more angry because she was *this* close to reacquainting with Henry, but it was the second time, after Henry, that drew the most ire from me. My lack of empathy for Clare's emotional state made me wonder if, as a female, I simply sympathize more with men or if I have unrealistic expectations of women in grief?

It all goes back to the "grounded" point I first made, I think. I don't know what it's like to really lose control and allow emotion to overcome me. I cry a lot, yes. It's my weakness when I'm frustrated or angry or scared. Strangely enough, I don't cry often when I'm actually sad. I tend to focus on duties and bounce emotions off. It's my way of coping. Clare's character was interesting to me in that she showed much restraint when Henry was traveling, taking care of familial duties and such, but she weakened in odd moments.

If nothing else, I suppose, these reflections of Clare's weaknesses are there to remind me that I will never know what it's like to be living someone else's day-to-day. I don't like saying "life", it's just so sweeping. Our lives are made up of day-to-day events, and to judge and pretend to understand someone else's events without having lived them would be preposterous of me. I know, I know...it's only a work of fiction. But what is story-telling if it doesn't come with a lesson?

My only complaint about this very well-written book is the end. To mimic a FB buddy, "I don't know how I wouldn't have ended it differently", but I didn't close the book feeling complete. I'm a sap for happy endings, and while you can imagine that eventually they will have their happy ending, it wasn't what I was anticipating. One of the book club questions asked if we agreed with Henry's decision to keep his "future" hidden from his present self so that he could live a semi-normal existence, when in the present. For a majority of the book, my answer was yes. But for the ending...it was no. I wanted him to change it, alter it, do something to "fix" it. But he didn't. I suppose that's how life goes, isn't it? We can't just fix and alter life to fit how we want. Lesson learned, indeed.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Today is Thursday

Today, I overslept. Sort of. OJ woke me up at 5am, but I managed to make him go back to sleep with a gag order and stern words. I then promptly fell back asleep myself.

Today, I didn't see TO in the morning time. He was still sleeping, flat on his back, mouth slightly open, completely still. Hubs is taking the boys to school.

Today, Till got himself out of bed and woke up the parents. Good kid.

Today, I am going to be a "guest" at a downtown gym because I'm tired of trying to squeeze in miles at 5am or with children around me after work, or in the dark after Hubs gets home. I will run on my lunch hour and love it.

Today, I will try and get my write-up finished regarding The Time Traveler's Wife. I apologize for my tardiness.

Today, I wish you all a Happy Thursday.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society: Part 1

Dorkys has revived her blogging book club. I didn't plan on posting anything here, just commenting at her place. But if any of my blogfriends might be bored and want a book to read, I changed my mind and decided to post my thoughts. If you want more detailed analysis and thoughtful discussion, you can visit Dorkys and read the comments others left as well.

Part 1 - up to page 102

Maybe it's because I'm on my third book in a month for the first time since having children, but what I love most about reading in general is the commonalities. No matter if the book is about historical, future, or present day toils, I can always find something in common with one or more characters. I feel as if they UNDERSTAND what I've experienced, or I feel that they represent a part of me I haven't yet lived out.

Specifically with Guernsey, I feel it with Juliet. Pg 8 she writes to Sophie and talks of the lonely feeling when you're with the wrong person, someone you can't be silent with. Pg 12 she's more lighthearted with Dawsey when she says she'd rather whine than count her blessings. Obviously she's tongue in cheek, but I love that humor. Pg 15 Juliet admits to Sidney that he was right and she was wrong, and how it pains her to admit it. Hmmm. Yes. I understand. :) I know that most felt it started slowly for them, but these quick few pages captured my attention and I loved getting straight into the middle of the characters' personalities. At least in THIS book.

One part I found interesting was her choice in recommendation letters - one good, one poor. I thought that was a clever move and I'm considering using it for the next job interview I take. How ingenious does that make her to pick someone who will point out a flaw, but with the obvious knowledge that it alone would endear you to someone? I started asking myself WHO would that "poor" rec letter come from, if I chose this method?

My final thought - Pg 81-82 Adelaide describes the hussies in terms of silk, scents, chocolate, wine, and cigarettes. And then I thought of my college years. Aaahhh, to be a semi-hussy again. And now I just consider myself "a tuba among the flutes." (pg 85)

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Confession: Time Warped and Bound

After watching friends go back and forth on Facebook about The Time Traveler's Wife and its movie just recently released, I succumbed and bought the book. Around this same time, my dear blogfriend and pen pal DR chose to reignite her book club. I eagerly joined because one thing missing in my life is fantasy and escape. I love that reading can take you away from your everyday. If only for 30 minutes before bed or a few minutes snuck in during a lull at work, you get to jump into the story and KNOW the characters. While I dearly love singing ABCs with OJ and attempting to make him verbally coherent....and while I dearly love doing long division with Till...and while I dearly love explaining the difference between C's "S" sound and "K" sound with TO....I love my first love. Reading. So I needed to get back into it, and I thank my friends who are the instigators. EAC in Texas, thank you. TSW in Kansas, thank you. DR in 'da Bronx, thank you.

I am not a book critic, obviously. I don't even know how to go about discussing a book without giving anything away. But I want to try. Why? Because I immensely enjoyed The Time Traveler's Wife. Before I dig into TTTW, I have to confess something to DR. I hoped to finish TTTW and then immediately dig into The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. But then a snag occurred. I had lunch with two girlfriends, one of whom lent me a book called Snow Flower and the Secret Fan. She explained that when she read the book, she thought of me and this made me want to read it immediately. I LOVED IT. But it pushed back TGLAPPPS.

Good news? I'm 70 pages into TGLPPPS, loving it, and going to finish up the first portion at lunch so that I can go and chat about the book on your blog. So there you have it. I've been time-warped (read TTTW) and then bound (read SFATSF) by two books, unable to get started on the book club book. In my defense, I did visit two separate book stores looking for TGLAPPPS and they did not have it.

I will write separate posts regarding all these lovely books I've been introduced to. In the meantime, read for pleasure, read to a child, and go escape for a few hours.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Monday Mumbles

Ten random things....on time, this time. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend.

1. One of my college girlfriends has been coping with/dealing with/struggling with/helping her mother battle cancer. Her mom "earned her wings in Heaven" this weekend as my friend so gently put it. Remember to hug your friends and family extra tight at the beginning, end, and middle of each day.

2. OJ's favorite word is now NO. "Can I read the book to you?" I ask. "No," he responds, usually quietly, putting his head down. "Will you tell me the story, then?" I ask in response. "Bblhadiafdadfdan," he says as he points to the pictures. At least he had a reason for saying no last night.

3. It's funny how we tell ourselves that working in a civilized setting like an office would put us in the company of civilized adults. Oh, how mistaken we are. I'd rather be teaching where at least I know the people I would see each day are supposed to act like adolescent, immature teenagers.

4. My boys, in case you are blind if you hadn't noticed, have curly hair. This allows for me to cut their hair(s) and it not be obvious I chopped their hair all different lengths. So long as the curls land in relatively similar piles, I can get away with this. Both TO and OJ received hair cuts last night. It's amazing how a haircut can make them look like big boys.

5. My sisters have this horrible way of making me watch horrible things. Over the past few weeks, they've been watching a lot of tennis and unfortunately I've been sucked in. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I'm a sports gal, as you know, I love my football and basketball and can occasionally sit and watch baseball too. Oh, and track and field. Have you SEEN the muscles on those sprinters??? Love me some running. But tennis? Never my thing. As I watched it against my will yesterday, there was a tremendous hit by Federer - between the legs, back facing the net, set up match point. Amazing. It really was. I wanted to jump up and cheer for him. And I would have if I wasn't lying on my chair and ottoman like a bum, tired from running my 7 miles earlier that day.

6. Speaking of my 7 miles, I drove from my house to measure it and the route I chose was EXACTLY 7 miles, from my mailbox all the way back to my mailbox. I was impressed with my route choice. When I RAN the route, however, I was less impressed. I picked some streets that were just ridiculously hilly and there were two distinct moments where I thought I might die. I didn't, and finished in 61 minutes.

7. I have a lottery ticket in my purse. It was from last week. I tend to hold onto them because actually checking them and verifying that it's not a winner is so sad. I just like to pretend I've got the golden ticket in my purse, just waiting to be discovered. It gives me hope.

8. I am officially back on the blogging bandwagon. If you think I've forgotten you, I haven't. I will be around to see everyone and catch up. While I'm at work, obviously. There seems to be zero time at home these days. I don't know what it is....it's not like I'm overly busy cleaning or cooking. Time just seems to escape. Do you ever feel that way?

9. Speaking of time escaping.....what age do you find it appropriate to have a mid-life meltdown? It seems that many people are allowing themselves the luxury of becoming neurotic at a younger age. They like to deem themselves in a fit of quarter-life crisis. When I look back into centuries ago....I wonder...did they have as many crazy people as we do today? Or did the crazy people just "disappear" and die somewhere? Today we deem that type of behavior unacceptable and do our best to house and feed the crazies.....but doesn't it feel as if the normals are trying to join the crazies? As if that's the simpler route to go? Is it? I wonder. Trying to maintain some sort of normalcy really is exhausting. I just want to air out that I'm crazy, let it be, and then go on my way.

10. The boys were relatively well-behaved this weekend. Grandma was in town and TO spent the night with her in the hotel Friday night. They played card games and board games and enjoyed one another. OJ didn't pitch too many fits except when his father was around. I REALLY don't know what that's all about, but it's driving me insane. Does he believe that I'll throw him out the window and his father won't? I don't know. I pushed Hubs out the door Sunday afternoon and forced him to go see some friends while I enjoyed OJ as a peaceful child. Essentially I wanted to lounge around and watch football in peace. And so it was. :)

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Monday Mumbles ---> THUMBLES

The Square Table has been taking a nap and I hope you all stayed calm and sane without my insanity to make you feel better about yourselves. Oh wait, your lives don't revolve around the blogs you read? Damn. Okay, well then, how about a give you a special treat and throw in some "Thumbles" for you today. For those of you unaware (I like to call you "The uneducated in the ways of The Table" people), Monday Mumbles are a staple around here. Ten random bullshit errr, rubbish - this is for you, Mo things swirling around my life at the moment. Because The Table took a hiatus this week, sort of, Mumbles were skipped. Let's say postponed. Until today. So for this week and this week alone, I give you Thumbles. (It's Thursday...Mumbles...on Thursday = THU-MBLES...?)


1. Confusion - My bloggingfacebook pals were probably confused. Sunday's FB status stated that it was a good weekend with family, friends, and fun. And then Monday passed with no Mumbles. And then Tuesday came with the hiatus announcement. WHAT was up with TOOJ? Well....

2. Explanation - Saturday was great. Family reunion. Fun was had. Although OJ had diarrhea that day a few times, he was reasonably behaved. I even posted a blog post Saturday night about the boys being in my bed. Ten minutes after hitting "publish", TO decided to vomit. In his bed, on my bedroom floor, on the way to the bathroom, and finally in the toilet. The fun halted, and cleaning began. But he felt MUCH better. Sunday came and I had a lunch date with girlfriends. Fun was had. OJ continued having diarrhea, but he was in good spirits and TO was feeling fabulous. Sunday night came and Till decided to vomit in his bed. Completely. But he felt MUCH better. Cleaning began, and I instantly felt nauseous. I laid as still as possible that night, Hubs dispensed Pepto tabs, and Monday morning came. Diarrhea came with it, for me. By the time Monday night came, no blogging would happen, and the house had been diligently neglected and so Tuesday's hiatus decision was a necessity. For MY sanity. I had chores.


p.s. I feel much better but the "bug" finally hit Hubs last night. Oops.



3. You might be asking yourself how the "bug" affected the 1/2 marathon training. I didn't run the expected 4.5 miles Tuesday, but I did get up Wednesday morning and do the 3. HOWEVER, I had to walk twice when I felt a 'sensation' and feared shitting on myself. I didn't want to THINK it would be gas and have it be butt soup.


4. I find it humorous how women always think babies kissing is "cute" while men detest that any boy baby might be kissing another boy baby. God forbid, right? Well scratch that....some do believe God forbids that. That's for another blog post. In the meantime...enjoy these kissing cousins. Adds an entirely different element to the boy on boy, eh?5. I am combining Cammie's "The Kids Said What?" into the Thumbles this week. I like to consolidate.


Here's a quick TO quote for you from our Chicago trip. Panera was a 2 block walk from our hotel and we decided to grab breakfast there one morning. We had packed oatmeal with us in case they preferred that, and this particular morning TO did. Not a huge surprise, he typically chooses oatmeal over everything. He ate at the hotel and then we ventured to Panera where Till ordered a bagel, I ordered an egg souffle thingamabob, Hubs and OJ got something, TO got chocolate milk, and I ordered an extra bagel for either later in the day or if the egg thingy didn't do it for me. Of course TO wants the bagel. OF COURSE.

Me: You know I asked you if you wanted anything, and you said no. You said you were full from the oatmeal.

TO: But I want the bagel nooooooooooooow. *smiles*

Me: Fine, but we're going to compromise. You only get half the bagel. Next time, be sure to ask for something when we're ordering it. You don't just take other people's food.

We proceed to eat and clean up the table. As we're about to stand up and depart, Hubs says:



Hubs: Tell Mom thanks for the bagels, boys.

Till: Thanks. *mumble*



TO: Thanks for the HALF A bagel, Mom. *sarcasm dripping off his cream cheesed smiling lips*

6. Driving home yesterday, I saw an antenna decoration. You all know them. Usually they're a ball of some sort, showing antenna love to a certain sport. Because you should show it on an antenna, of course. But not the one I saw yesterday. No sirree bob. It was a hot dog. In a bun. With eyes. And green arms and legs, and I believe a little green hat. The green resembled snot. I'm not really sure what this antenna-hugging hot dog meant to the driver, however. Strange, indeed.

7. I have an issue with even numbers. I prefer them. Odd numbers feel exactly what they're called, odd. I don't know why. When I'm flipping the radio volume dial, it can't be on 9 or 11. It has to be 10 or 12. Strange, again, I know. But oddly enough, I don't like 14. I would prefer the volume to be at 15. Multiples of 5 are okay. I'm apologizing to myself right now for letting you all in on some of my kookie ways. Wouldn't you know, though, my kids are born on odd days? 19 and 11. Hm.

8. My brother and dad were telling me about a poor girl who had issues with her name being mispronounced at school. At the first parent-teacher conference, the mother brought up that her daughter wasn't fond of the teacher because he said her name wrong. The teacher was relieved and asked HOW, exactly it should be said. "LEE-AH? LEE? LAY-AH?" Um. NO, says the mother. LE-DASH-AH. I'm sure this poor teacher was confused. The written form of the girl's name was this:
Any GROWN, normal adult might pronounce this girl's name like the teacher did. Poor kids today. Discussing this girl's plight, we wondered how WE could become symbanames. Can you guess who these people are?



9. Another little anecdote I'd like to share from our Chicago trip. We're driving along, passing from Missouri to Illinois, and Hubs says, "I don't know about you, but my ears are starting to pop." I glance at him and wonder if I married stupid or silly. I say, "Honey, we didn't change altitudes." He just grinned at me and rubbed his ear. The question remains unanswered.
10. As I drove home yesterday, I glanced over after I exited the interstate. WHAT? The McDonald's is...WTF? There is a McD's at our exit and it's no longer standing. I drove this way just the day before...I think...? How did I happen to miss the fact that it's no longer standing? Just a pile of dirt now sits where the fries used to be. Oh, and a sign saying that it's coming back in a couple of months. Funny how your "everyday" really passes you by unnoticed if you don't take the time to turn and look.

Good Quick Read

I'm really not blogging this week, but here's another read for you. A quick one. Enjoy! This is my friend "The Catholic Lady"....aka Michelle.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

All the UpROAR

I'm experiencing a blogging hiatus. It might only last today or maybe a few days. In the meantime, I want to leave you with the words we all need to read. Below I have copied and pasted the text of Obama's "outrageous" speech to school children (which I found here). I'm simply sick and tired of people ranting and raving about this man and his 9 months he's spent in office. They act like the F'ing world is about to end with every move he makes. I won't blog about it anymore because frankly, I'll start swearing a LOT and I don't want to do that.

Suffice it to say I think Americans are slowly losing their minds and acting like they've drunk the "crazy kool-aid". They are off their rockers, literally, and hunting for tiny specks of things to complain about. Get a life, find something productive to do, and shut the hell up. Our president wants to urge kids to take responsibility for their education and stay in school. HOLY SHIT. I might collapse from the sheer AUDACITY of this man!!! The words in this speech made ME want to stand up and take some responsibility for ME. Former first lady Laura B. had this to say: "I think there is a place for the president ... to talk to schoolchildren and encourage" them, she said. Parents should follow his example and "encourage their own children to stay in school and to study hard and to try to achieve the dream that they have." (found here) What? She GETS it, and no one else does? Interesting.

Okay, seriously. I am done. Promise. Here's the speech.

The prepared text of President Barack Obama's back-to-school address scheduled for Tuesdays, as released in advance by the White House:

Hello, everyone — how's everybody doing today? I'm here with students at Wakefield High School in Arlington, Virginia. And we've got students tuning in from all across America, kindergarten through 12th grade. I'm glad you all could join us today.

I know that for many of you, today is the first day of school. And for those of you in kindergarten, or starting middle or high school, it's your first day in a new school, so it's understandable if you're a little nervous. I imagine there are some seniors out there who are feeling pretty good right now, with just one more year to go. And no matter what grade you're in, some of you are probably wishing it were still summer, and you could've stayed in bed just a little longer this morning.

I know that feeling. When I was young, my family lived in Indonesia for a few years, and my mother didn't have the money to send me where all the American kids went to school. So she decided to teach me extra lessons herself, Monday through Friday — at 4:30 in the morning.
Now I wasn't too happy about getting up that early. A lot of times, I'd fall asleep right there at the kitchen table. But whenever I'd complain, my mother would just give me one of those looks and say, "This is no picnic for me either, buster."

So I know some of you are still adjusting to being back at school. But I'm here today because I have something important to discuss with you. I'm here because I want to talk with you about your education and what's expected of all of you in this new school year.

Now I've given a lot of speeches about education. And I've talked a lot about responsibility.
I've talked about your teachers' responsibility for inspiring you, and pushing you to learn.
I've talked about your parents' responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and get your homework done, and don't spend every waking hour in front of the TV or with that Xbox.
I've talked a lot about your government's responsibility for setting high standards, supporting teachers and principals, and turning around schools that aren't working where students aren't getting the opportunities they deserve.

But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, and the best schools in the world and none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities. Unless you show up to those schools; pay attention to those teachers; listen to your parents, grandparents and other adults; and put in the hard work it takes to succeed.
And that's what I want to focus on today: the responsibility each of you has for your education. I want to start with the responsibility you have to yourself.

Every single one of you has something you're good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That's the opportunity an education can provide.

Maybe you could be a good writer — maybe even good enough to write a book or articles in a newspaper — but you might not know it until you write a paper for your English class. Maybe you could be an innovator or an inventor — maybe even good enough to come up with the next iPhone or a new medicine or vaccine — but you might not know it until you do a project for your science class. Maybe you could be a mayor or a senator or a Supreme Court justice, but you might not know that until you join student government or the debate team.

And no matter what you want to do with your life — I guarantee that you'll need an education to do it. You want to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a police officer? You want to be a nurse or an architect, a lawyer or a member of our military? You're going to need a good education for every single one of those careers. You can't drop out of school and just drop into a good job. You've got to work for it and train for it and learn for it.

And this isn't just important for your own life and your own future. What you make of your education will decide nothing less than the future of this country. What you're learning in school today will determine whether we as a nation can meet our greatest challenges in the future.
You'll need the knowledge and problem-solving skills you learn in science and math to cure diseases like cancer and AIDS, and to develop new energy technologies and protect our environment. You'll need the insights and critical thinking skills you gain in history and social studies to fight poverty and homelessness, crime and discrimination, and make our nation more fair and more free. You'll need the creativity and ingenuity you develop in all your classes to build new companies that will create new jobs and boost our economy.

We need every single one of you to develop your talents, skills and intellect so you can help solve our most difficult problems. If you don't do that — if you quit on school — you're not just quitting on yourself, you're quitting on your country.

Now I know it's not always easy to do well in school. I know a lot of you have challenges in your lives right now that can make it hard to focus on your schoolwork.

I get it. I know what that's like. My father left my family when I was two years old, and I was raised by a single mother who struggled at times to pay the bills and wasn't always able to give us things the other kids had. There were times when I missed having a father in my life. There were times when I was lonely and felt like I didn't fit in.

So I wasn't always as focused as I should have been. I did some things I'm not proud of, and got in more trouble than I should have. And my life could have easily taken a turn for the worse.
But I was fortunate. I got a lot of second chances and had the opportunity to go to college, and law school, and follow my dreams. My wife, our first lady Michelle Obama, has a similar story. Neither of her parents had gone to college, and they didn't have much. But they worked hard, and she worked hard, so that she could go to the best schools in this country.

Some of you might not have those advantages. Maybe you don't have adults in your life who give you the support that you need. Maybe someone in your family has lost their job, and there's not enough money to go around. Maybe you live in a neighborhood where you don't feel safe, or have friends who are pressuring you to do things you know aren't right.

But at the end of the day, the circumstances of your life — what you look like, where you come from, how much money you have, what you've got going on at home — that's no excuse for neglecting your homework or having a bad attitude. That's no excuse for talking back to your teacher, or cutting class, or dropping out of school. That's no excuse for not trying.

Where you are right now doesn't have to determine where you'll end up. No one's written your destiny for you. Here in America, you write your own destiny. You make your own future.
That's what young people like you are doing every day, all across America.

Young people like Jazmin Perez, from Roma, Texas. Jazmin didn't speak English when she first started school. Hardly anyone in her hometown went to college, and neither of her parents had gone either. But she worked hard, earned good grades, got a scholarship to Brown University, and is now in graduate school, studying public health, on her way to being Dr. Jazmin Perez.
I'm thinking about Andoni Schultz, from Los Altos, California, who's fought brain cancer since he was three. He's endured all sorts of treatments and surgeries, one of which affected his memory, so it took him much longer — hundreds of extra hours — to do his schoolwork. But he never fell behind, and he's headed to college this fall.

And then there's Shantell Steve, from my hometown of Chicago, Illinois. Even when bouncing from foster home to foster home in the toughest neighborhoods, she managed to get a job at a local health center; start a program to keep young people out of gangs; and she's on track to graduate high school with honors and go on to college.

Jazmin, Andoni and Shantell aren't any different from any of you. They faced challenges in their lives just like you do. But they refused to give up. They chose to take responsibility for their education and set goals for themselves. And I expect all of you to do the same. That's why today, I'm calling on each of you to set your own goals for your education — and to do everything you can to meet them. Your goal can be something as simple as doing all your homework, paying attention in class, or spending time each day reading a book. Maybe you'll decide to get involved in an extracurricular activity, or volunteer in your community. Maybe you'll decide to stand up for kids who are being teased or bullied because of who they are or how they look, because you believe, like I do, that all kids deserve a safe environment to study and learn. Maybe you'll decide to take better care of yourself so you can be more ready to learn. And along those lines, I hope you'll all wash your hands a lot, and stay home from school when you don't feel well, so we can keep people from getting the flu this fall and winter.

Whatever you resolve to do, I want you to commit to it. I want you to really work at it.
I know that sometimes, you get the sense from TV that you can be rich and successful without any hard work — that your ticket to success is through rapping or basketball or being a reality TV star, when chances are, you're not going to be any of those things.

But the truth is, being successful is hard. You won't love every subject you study. You won't click with every teacher. Not every homework assignment will seem completely relevant to your life right this minute. And you won't necessarily succeed at everything the first time you try.

That's OK. Some of the most successful people in the world are the ones who've had the most failures. J.K. Rowling's first Harry Potter book was rejected twelve times before it was finally published. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, and he lost hundreds of games and missed thousands of shots during his career. But he once said, "I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

These people succeeded because they understand that you can't let your failures define you — you have to let them teach you. You have to let them show you what to do differently next time. If you get in trouble, that doesn't mean you're a troublemaker, it means you need to try harder to behave. If you get a bad grade, that doesn't mean you're stupid, it just means you need to spend more time studying.

No one's born being good at things, you become good at things through hard work. You're not a varsity athlete the first time you play a new sport. You don't hit every note the first time you sing a song. You've got to practice. It's the same with your schoolwork. You might have to do a math problem a few times before you get it right, or read something a few times before you understand it, or do a few drafts of a paper before it's good enough to hand in.

Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don't know something, and to learn something new. So find an adult you trust — a parent, grandparent or teacher; a coach or counselor — and ask them to help you stay on track to meet your goals.

And even when you're struggling, even when you're discouraged, and you feel like other people have given up on you — don't ever give up on yourself. Because when you give up on yourself, you give up on your country.

The story of America isn't about people who quit when things got tough. It's about people who kept going, who tried harder, who loved their country too much to do anything less than their best. It's the story of students who sat where you sit 250 years ago, and went on to wage a revolution and found this nation. Students who sat where you sit 75 years ago who overcame a Depression and won a world war; who fought for civil rights and put a man on the moon. Students who sat where you sit 20 years ago who founded Google, Twitter and Facebook and changed the way we communicate with each other.

So today, I want to ask you, what's your contribution going to be? What problems are you going to solve? What discoveries will you make? What will a president who comes here in twenty or fifty or one hundred years say about what all of you did for this country?

Your families, your teachers, and I are doing everything we can to make sure you have the education you need to answer these questions. I'm working hard to fix up your classrooms and get you the books, equipment and computers you need to learn. But you've got to do your part too. So I expect you to get serious this year. I expect you to put your best effort into everything you do. I expect great things from each of you. So don't let us down — don't let your family or your country or yourself down. Make us all proud. I know you can do it.

Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Who Wants to See?

Just some pictures. I type too many words. I don't give you enough pictures.
My cousin had this shirt on today. If you've ever been to Lawrence or are a Jayhawk fan, you understand. The town is lovely. Unless you are a Wildcat or Tiger, I suppose. But there is something simply peaceful about Lawrence, the laid back demeanor, the hills of campus, downtown Massachusetts Street. I do hope Heaven is like Lawrence. But in true fashion, if I should happen to NOT be on the Heaven Express, I hope Hell is like it too. :)
OJ mid-fall on the way into daycare. Okay, it wasn't actually a fall. I wanted his picture, squatted down to get it, and he thought I was sitting, so he sat. As if we always plop a squat in the middle of the walk up to school. Strange child. Not sure who he belongs to yet.
TO's pseudo first day of school. If you recall, I forgot the camera on the actual first day. I think this was day three. So basically by typing and leaving that sentence, I tattle on myself for the future. Oh well, kid. I was THERE the first day. Does that count? LOVE the Jayhawk backpack, yes?
OJ's belly, anyone? He apparently felt that everyone at T-ball wanted to see it last weekend.
The boys, decked out in Jayhawk jerseys, headed to our family reunion picnic. I gotta love these boys, even if the two smallest are sleeping in my bed right now. Why? I don't know why they're in here. Oh, wait...yes I do. OJ cried in his sleep so I brought him in because it was easier to do that than try and shush him. I think his belly hurts. And TO fell asleep in the car around 6pm and didn't wake up very nicely so I put him to bed straight away. He decided at 9m to wake up. Now he's in here. Moving and tossing and turning because he can't get back to sleep. I KNEW I should have made him stay awake and cry.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Happy Friday

I wanted to wish everyone a simple, thoughtful Happy Friday.

I do not like deleting posts, but I also do not like to end my week and start my weekend off with negativity or struggling emotions. The previous post is me, today, but it's not me always. Or even most of the time, as you who frequent The Square Table know.

So in light of Me, Mostly....and the fact that the depressing post was #300....oh, and that I completely overlooked my blogging anniversary....

Have a wonderful and happy holiday weekend. Stay safe, stay warm, shoo away the Autumn (sorry, you cool weather people). Enjoy!

Show Me The Feeling

I wanted to write only this:

When is it okay to be fed up, and give up?

But then I realized something. That sounds bad. It sounds like a quitter. It sounds like I can't finish what I started.

But is it okay to sound bad, be a quitter, stop what I started before it's complete?

No. I know the answer is no. But I'm frustrated with dealing with the mess of another. I'm tired of waiting to see if the other person's incompetence has been self-reflected. I'm saddened that the product of this messy incompetence is too unaware to be appreciative and productive in the ways I deem acceptable.

Being a step-parent is hard, and I'm finding it very difficult to want to be one today. I just want to be a mom, a good mom, to my children. I know in my house "my children" includes the child who lives under my roof but was not borne to me. But today.....I just want to selfishly be alone with the two I've reared from birth. At least their mistakes and missteps can be blamed squarely on my shoulders and I won't feel Part-Victim. I will feel responsible. Which is exactly what I want his mother to feel. Responsible.

I don't like these feelings of wanting to quit. I don't like these feelings of abandoning. I don't like feeling selfish.

Hubs sees "our children=3". I struggle with this concept. Hubs wants me to feel what he feels for step-son, which is responsibility and protectiveness. I struggle with this concept as well.

I am a person who needs validation that you FEEL what you SAY you feel. I need to know that you care. I need to SEE that you care. I detest apathy, laziness, and a nonchalant demeanor when it comes to relationships. SHOW me you're excited, mad, sad, happy, content.

He doesn't do this very well. He never has. I've known him since he was 4, and he never was this way. You'd think I would get used to it. I haven't. He's closing in on 12.

I need a re-charge. I need to remind myself of my role and find some peace so that I can try harder. I did not try hard enough this morning to be the adult, the role model, the mood setter. I broke down and got angry. I needed his help, I didn't get it, and I got angry. I will find a way to handle this better in the future. Maybe. But for now, I need to find a way to stop feeling sorry for myself. It's certainly not making the situation any brighter.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

The Kids Said WHAT??

I'm following suit again this week because TO supplied me with a wonderful quote on the way to daycare. Visit Cammie to see THE originator of "The Kids Said WHAT?". Happy Thursday.

TO: "Mama, you can't smile when you golf."

I'm driving him to school and I'm happy that he can't see my face. I'm very confused, but decide the silent method of communication will prompt a really good explanation. My guess is that Hubs told him this so that he would concentrate while hitting the ball. Oh no.

TO: "Because you can hit the ball and it might hit a rock and might hit it hard enough and come back and knock all your teeth out."

So....I'm stumped. Is this his imagination? Did someone tell him this while watching Tiger Woods golf?

TO: That's what happened to Tom on Tom & Jerry.

Puzzle solved.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Weak on Wednesday

I initially started "Weak on Wednesday" for two reasons. First, something sweet happened on a Wednesday morning and second, I needed an alliteration to match the day. Voila, WOW was born. But funnily enough, sweet things kept happening....ON Wednesday. So I kept doing it. Or maybe because it's the middle of the week I'm not dreaming of all the things that need to get accomplished for the week as I do on Mondays, and I'm not dreaming about the weekend as I do on Fridays. Either way, another WOW moment happened today. Well, I have three to report on, actually. Enjoy.

1. Till, the Baby-sitter
Albeit, reluctant baby-sitter at times, he is always willing to pitch in and help with OJ. We haven't yet let him stay alone at the house with TO or OJ or both, and I'm not sure that would happen anytime soon. But when we go places, as we did Tuesday evening, he sometimes gets put in charge of the wee ones. Because I was too lazy to get out of bed and run my 4 miles Tuesday morning, I had to work it into the schedule for an evening run. Problem? Hubs accepted some overtime at work and is working late each night this week. SO.....to the track we went. I hate the track, just so you know. 16 laps around was NOT an appealing option, but it was the only option. I didn't assume I'd get more than 8 laps in before OJ had a meltdown or TO and Till started fighting. I got in 14! 3 1/2 miles before I realized all the sand OJ ingested from the long jump pit probably needed to get washed out and down. But Till was there, playing and watching, and I was nearly successful in a full run. His willingness to help is very appreciated.

2. OJ, the Cry-baby
He cries at every drop-off, every morning, everyday. Today I tried the snack trick, hoping he would want to eat and it would distract him from my exit. Didn't work. So I got the "stern mommy" voice out and said, "You either sit down or give me a kiss." He toddled right over and laid one on me. So I kissed him back and then plopped him in the chair. And then I shared Cheerios with all his friends, which confused him, and as he watched them snack, I left.

3. TO, the Sweetheart
While dropping TO's backpack and homework folder off in the Kindergarten room, the teacher informed me that she tested TO on his numbers yesterday. He knew them all to twenty. He could write them all. So she went a bit further and tested some addition and subtraction. He did it all correctly. So now he's in 1st grade reading AND math. Yea! I thanked her and we walked him to the before-school room where a note lay in his cubby. I asked if he received a note from a friend, and he said no, it was for me. He frequently writes notes to the family or to his friends, it's what they do. I wasn't surprised. I thanked him, grabbed it, and headed to my car. While driving off, I opened it and read, "Der moma i hop That Your Feelen GooD Your sun TurnEr". I teared up, called the school, and asked the lady who answered to please stop TO when she sees him in the hall or class and tell him that Mommy loves him.

1st grade math and reading AND a mama's boy. I couldn't ask for more. Well, I could ask that OJ stop crying, but that might be pushing it.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Ten Questions

I am happy to point all of you in the direction of one very lovely lady. This lovely lady Anna and I share the same love of academic location, and when she writes about the joys she finds in our beloved campus, I get nostalgic and have to resist the urge to drive there over the weekend just to sit. On the hills, near the pond, maybe on campus where the students walk all day long. It's a lovely place. If you ever visit the midwest, I recommend a walk through Anna's campus, my campus, where she studies now...where I used to study. Also, if you get a chance...peruse her blog. It's absolutely adorable. She posts gorgeous pictures, gives simple inspirational quotes, and generally brightens my day. EACH time I visit. She bestowed upon me the opportunity to answer some questions. Here are my answers.

The rules are, erase the answers already listed and fill in your own. Pass it on to bloggers of your choice. I will only ask that if you choose to answer these questions, because let's face it...answering questions can be fun, please let me know so that I may read yours.

1. Who is the hottest Movie Star?
I am not a huge movie person. I watch them, I enjoy them when I watch them, but I do not seek out certain actors. Anna's answer was actually a perfect answer for me as well - she responded with Dr. Gregory House. Or more commonly known as Hugh Laurie. And I tend to think Will Smith is the quirkiest handsome man around.

2. Apart from your house and car, what is the most expensive item you have ever bought?
I could say the plane tickets that got me to and from France...and then Japan. But honestly, I think paying to have OJ was the most expensive item I "bought". Well, actually...it could be the medical treatment we've "bought" for TO during his asthma diagnosis stage from age 2-4. Medical bills wreak havoc.

3. What is your most treasured memory?
Tire swings. We had one at two separate houses growing up and I loved them. I think my children need a tire swing. I will discuss this with Hubs tonight, in fact.


4. What was the best gift you ever received as a child?
As a child teen, I remember when my great-grandmother gave me a book of stories, clearly old. It was a small book, worn well with the binding loose and ragged. I wonder how long she has kept the book. She gave it to me because she knew I liked to read and she whispered something to me that made me feel so special. I still pull on that memory to this day, when I need a pick-me-up.

5. What is the biggest mistake you have ever made?
If I shared with you my blunders, it would take away from the obvious fact that you all find me perfect. Therefore, I will steal Anna's answer who stole it from her friend Helen: "My mistakes have led me to here." But, if you feel the need to know a little something extra.....I think one of my largest mistakes was failing to research and understand what a "major" meant in college and how it would lead me to HERE. I wished I would have trusted my gut, and ASKED questions. I didn't know who to ask, I didn't know what to ask...but if I'd opened my mouth to speak, someone would have pointed me in the right direction. Or at least in A direction. THAT was a big mistake.

6. 4 words to describe yourself?
Begin by being personal


7. What was your highlight or low light of 2008?
High - Although I'd like to say it was the Jayhawk Championship, I have to put aside collegiate alliances and say OJ being born. He might be a hellion, but he's my hellion and he's pretty darn cute.
Low - '08 was a pretty good year for us. I guess I'd have to say NOT getting to celebrate the Championship win in the streets of Lawrence because my really fat behind was at our house, 4 days away from giving birth.


8. Favorite Film?
As stated in #1, I am not a huge movie person. I can watch many girly chick flicks over and over and over, however. I'd have to say all of them. You know, Devil Wears Prada, How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days.....The Lake House...really, anything Sandra Bullock, Anne Hathaway, or Kate Hudson. Or Meg Ryan. Or Julia Roberts.

9. Tell me one thing I don’t know about you.
I can still do a back flip into the pool.


10. If you were a comic book/strip or cartoon character, who would you be?
Here is another thing you don't know about me. I don't have a clue about comic book or cartoon characters. I'm not a big fan of either forms of entertainment. BUT...in the spirit of answering questions that are asked of me....TO likes to slate me as Dora or Alicia, Diego's sister. I will take either, although I prefer Dora because she gets a monkey. Those chicks are cool.