I actually anticipated getting more argumentative feedback about my Tiger comment from Friday. Tracy tackled a large portion of what I anticipated reading - discussing image, responsibility, role model values, etc. One of my sisters also said she commented along the same lines, but her comment never appeared for publishing? Instead, she and I had a back-and-forth via email. For fun, here is our discussion that I feel represents the view I expected to get, and then the defense of my view.SIS:I'm just curious as to why a car wreck is "personal." That's all. The story is bizarre. I don't think Tiger goes out of house too often at 2:30 in the morning. That's all. LOL And I am a Tiger fan.
(This last sentence was in reference to my insinuation, "you must be anti Tiger" when she stated she left a comment regarding this topic.)ME:The car wreck itself isn’t personal. But HOW he came to be in his car IS. Legally, he has no responsibility to speak to the police about the wreck…the police are obligated to investigate it as they happened on it, and the results afterward. He doesn’t have to speak about it at all.
Something to keep in mind if you ever find yourself in a fender bender and the other party insists on calling the cops because you disagree about who’s at fault. Don’t say a word and let the insurance and police investigation of the wreck handle it.
SIS:The police did their job, but that doesn't stop other media outlets to do what they do. Doug Gottlieb said it best: the story is the cover up. If you were just going to the store to get your kid medicine, then you would say that. If you were just going to get some food, you would say that.
And if you are going to be a professional athlete and out there in public, you have to take the good with the bad. Look at Kobe. He admitted his wrong doings and nobody seems to care now.
Nobody said athletes are perfect, but they are held to a higher standard in the eyes of the media.
ME:Athletes are people whose talents lie in a realm of entertainment. For me, that’s where it stops. As a citizen, I take responsibility for what I deem “higher standard” and it has nothing to do with anyone whom I’ve NEVER met. I can admire their talents in the realm of the entertainment I seek, and it ends there. Period. Just because they choose to endorse this or that and I might buy it, it doesn’t mean I am entitled to dictate what is right and wrong for their choices as a person and as an image. If I buy their product, I buy solely based on the notion that it’s the best quality for the money I’m spending, and it will work in the facet for which it’s intended.
Like Tracy’s comment suggests, what do we do when children state that they want to be like so-and-so? Here’s my answer to that: Then practice your golf game. That’s what we truly know about Tiger Woods and his golf game is certainly something to live up to. I hope that you want to work hard like mommy and daddy do to get what you want out of life. If that’s a good golf game like Tiger, great! Let’s practice. If we as parents can simply focus on what it is that we KNOW about these athletes and famous figures, their talents in the realm of entertainment only, we’ll be fine. She suggests that she doesn’t want to have to correct him to say “only be like his golf game, not like the person” but in fact…that’s what we spend their entire childhood doing anyhow. When other children at school treat them poorly, especially someone they thought was a friend, we’ll tell them “just learn how not to be” and “take the good things that person provides and learn from that”. When an adult in their life disappoints them
(i.e. grandparent not showing up as expected), we’ll have to explain that sometimes people make other choices and while we don’t always like them, we have to learn to be the best person WE can be.
We can only control and correct our own behavior. Why worry about creating a role model in our minds from someone we don’t know? I hope their role models are people they KNOW….grandparent, dad, mom, brother, aunt, uncle. The rest of the world and the rest of the people are there just for the good times, entertainment, and fun.
SIS:That's great in a fantasy world. It's not like these people are growing money and that's why they are wealthy. They are wealthy because people like us spend money on them. But if you are going to put your image out there, along with your golf game, and promoting your brand, people are going to look at you differently. If I was out there promoting the family name and something bad comes out about a sibling, then I'm going to be looked at differently than I was before. You can't have all good news and when something bad happens, you have to own up to it.
ME:That’s the fault of the consumer. Sorry. I don’t buy anyone’s product based on the person I think they are. I buy it based on quality of product I think it’ll be. It’s the problem with consumers and the average person today. They think that because they CHOOSE to spend their money on something with someone’s name on it, they are entitled to know about them and dictate how their lives should be. That’s just sad.
I’m really tired of having people tell me that I live in a fantasy world.
SIS:No, you don't live in one. We all just wish for one, that's all. I'm not really talking about the consumer. It's not he cheated on his wife just once. allegedly, it was going on for four years and you go out there to promote yourself and your foundation, all the good things he does, but he's been cheating for four years.
ME:I understand that you might be disappointed because his image and peeps promoted him as this great guy and now we find he’s not. Frankly, I don’t buy into images EXCEPT for the idea that his quality of product might be better than the next guy. That’s it. The good he does through his foundations is GOOD WORK. He doesn’t promote marital bliss and ideal husband qualities. His foundations are not for that. And if we want to pretend that because everyone is good in ONE or TWO REALMS of their life, they’re good in all….then THAT is a fantasy existence.
SIS:He promoted that image, not me or his people. Tiger Woods generated his own image as this professional athlete and a decent human being and good husband and father. We obviously don't know any celebrities personally, so they create their own "brand." And so he can't be too upset people are portraying him differently now. He might be a good guy, but now he has created this image for himself. Nobody made him go cheat for four years on his wife, only Tiger did that.
ME:I agree that he promoted his image as a professional athlete who likes certain products. I don’t believe he ever got paid or put his family image out there as an endorsement. If the media snapped pictures of him being a husband or father, that’s on them. Again, if the consumer wants to buy into the idea of what those pictures and stories portray, that’s THEIR RESPONSIBILITY if it doesn’t endure. He can’t control the image that is changing, but I also don’t have to buy into the change myself. I never knew him as a husband or father BEFORE the wreck…and I don’t know him now. It will not change how I view him as an athlete, the ONLY image we were given by Tiger. Sorry!
SIS:LOL I think the media has always respected his privacy up until this crazy wreck and story has come out. Come on, he's always talking about his dad and mom, and the relationship he had with his dad. So he makes it sound like a great family guy, right? You see him with his kids and wife, doesn't mean they don't have problems like everybody else. He doesn't go promoting him being a husband or father, but that doesn't mean we can't make our own determination about a person we don't know by what we see. He has to claim responsibility for his image, that's all.
ME:The media is a horrible beast that needs to be shot with bows and arrows. I do not like most media portrayals, I no longer enjoy the news, I rarely read any sensational articles. I find the ones who seek the attention and the ones who are pursuing the stories to be equally despicable.
I wish we could all start focusing on what we CAN control, and start loving the image we provide for our children and families more. That might sound sappy, idealistic, or fantasy driven….but it is my hope. Because he talks about mom and dad means nothing about the type of father and husband that he is. He is responsible only to the companies he endorses for, and if his quality of product or entertainment goes down, he will feel the repercussions. It is how I see it….I know that’s not the norm or the majority’s view, but I won’t be budging. LOL
SIS:We'll just agree to disagree. Tiger controls his image, not the media or anybody else. Tiger can only control so much, just like the rest of us. Personally, if you cheat, you deserve to be caught, especially because it's supposedly been going on for so long.
ME:Don’t get me wrong. I do not like or condone cheating, and knowing that about his character is certainly insight for thought. But it won’t change how I behave as an entertainment
viewer or as a
consumer. I watch golf for his game, I would buy his product for their quality. If he wrote a book about marriage, I wouldn’t be buying it.
SIS:I guess I don't separate the two, his personal life and his job. How I expect myself to act on the job and off the job I guess are the same. Will I succeed everyday at that? No, but I'm not going to say: Well, I'm human, I'm not perfect. That's a poor excuse!
ME:I agree with you. How I handle myself in one realm will be how I handle myself in any other. But many, many people do not. Like when I worked at the grocery store for those few months…..there were church goers who came into the store right after church….right AFTER they got done praying and greeting and smiling at everyone….straight to the check-out line and being rude and overbearing to the people working the registers. People do not hold themselves to a standard each and every minute. It’s unfortunate.
