I have some questions. I want honest answers without vague, sweeping glossy answers. Give examples either from personal experience or the personal experiences of someone close to you. I want to know where YOU fall when it comes to certain questions.
1. When is enough ENOUGH?
I heard it quoted on the radio this morning that this man was between the point of "pure rage" and the epiphany feeling of "I don't have to take this anymore". When have you found that you've reached one point or the other, and had to make the decision to engage in rage or slide down the chute to freedom?
2. When might integrity super cede guilt?
Doing the "right" thing is a very subjective phrase. What one person deems right and necessary won't always fall in that same bucket for another. When we speak about rational beings, however, the right "thing" with regard to integrity and moral behavior is generally agreed upon. Why, then, does acting in an integrity-driven manner, supporting morals and general human decency, get hounded by guilt as if it's treading on someone's toes? Have you ever made a decision to act on your moral ground, but had to push the guilt of possible side effects to the side?
3. How much does management affect YOU?
How often have you had the displeasure of working under management that wasn't up to par? What did yo do about it? Did you simply find another job? Did you approach them and discuss alternative methods of approach? Did you give honest feedback? Were you met with resistance? Did your superiors take to heart your words and concerns, and did anything change?
9 comments:
Enough is enough...depends on each person's tolerance level for certain behavior. For example, My son, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy!" in a whiny voice when he only wants to be picked up and put down over and over is something I can tolerate for about 5 minutes. And apparently, I can tolerate my boss treating me like $%^& for three years.
I think the guilt is a natural feeling, but we can't give it too much weight. In the end, guilt is a very self-centered activity...all about how *I* feel, how *I* will be perceived, how *I* will be affected. As my husband said in my recent situations, "XXXXXX has been working there a long time, XXXXXX is in upper management and has been trained what to do and what not to do. XXXXXX has made certain decisions and XXXXXX is accountable. There's nothing for you to feel guilty about...you didn't do anything wrong."
It's very true that everything starts with management. The tone is set by them. I have simply found another job before...but I'll also say, the same problems exist in all organizations...it is only different by the way things are handled. It remains to be seen how the current situation plays out, but I've chosen to be optimistic.
#3 - Yes, I've worked for subpar management (most of it is, nowadays) I've gotten other jobs, I've spoke up (was told I had an attitude problem).
Unless you are your own boss - its just gonna suck. And being your own boss brings with it other suckiness (like paying business taxes).
The only thing that seems to work is to work at a job where you LOVE what you are doing and it surmounts the "grief" elements.
I echo all of Michelle's sentiments...deciding enough is enough for me is usually when the negative outweighs the reward, however, that's a lot easier said then done when it is accompanied by "responsibility". Unfortunately our responsibilities in life tend to make us endure more than we would if we didn't have any.
As for interegity accompanied by guilt....this has taken on a whole new meaning for me once I entered parenthood! LOL But from your post I take it you were referring to the workforce and in that case I say you just have to let go of the guilt if you know you made the best decision, not even the subjective "right" one, but the best one for that situation at that time. If you stepped on someone else's toes in the process, for me that would be a conversation with that person about why I made the decision or took the action I did and that my intention was different than the impact they felt as a result. That usually resolves the situation or at least alleviates that person's hurt feelings.
As for how much management affects me? I have had both ends of the spectrum...managers that you hear from twice a year and managers that call you twice a day. I think having the conversation about the management style that works best for you is definitely the first step. Let's be honest, most people, at least in my company anways, are never trained to be managers. So I always operate under the assumption that my manager has an open door and I can give feedback until my experience tells me otherwise. But in my opinion, being a manager mayself, I cannot "expect" my manager to know he or she is ineffecive managing me unless I tell them. And that is the expectation I set for the people that work for me. And regardless if it immediately changes the situtaion or not, it is a good first step and demonstrates that you have attempted to resolve the situation yourself in case you need to escalate the situation. Or when you have to give your exit interview because you are on the way out. :)
I think enough is enough when it starts affecting all the other areas of your life. For instance, if something is so bad that I can't stop thinking about it, then something needs to be done to rectify the situation itself.
Honestly, I'm not sure if I get the second question, so I'm not even going to try to answer it.
As far as management goes, I've worked for one single woman for the last 10 years, so this one's hard for me to tackle as well. I do know this though, if I'm ever having problems with her (my 10 years has not been without issues) I go to her and talk about it. Otherwise our working relationship really suffers. I'm definitely not one of those people who can let something slide if it's continual and really bothering me.
I can relate a personal experience to #1 and #3...I was managing a grant-funded youth program housed at nonprofit A. The foundation that funded the program wanted it moved to nonprofit B. I did not want to go to nonprofit B because of their reputation for mismanagement. So I formed an exit strategy. After 3 years working in the project I was ready to move on anyway. I let management at nonprofit B know that I would be leaving after 6 months which would give them time to interview and hire my replacement. They said okay, but really thought I would stay. I HATED it there from day 1. I went from having an office to sitting in a cube farm. My direct manager had a passive-aggressive attitude toward me because she found out I was making more $ than her (my salary came from the same grant not nonprofit B). She did everything in her withcy, little power to make my life hard, including blocking my access to the same resources my counterparts received as in help from interns, professional development classes, even the code to the supply closet! I get that I had one foot out the door, but sheesh! The straw that broke the camel's back was the day I found out that my position had not be advertised on their job openings board on the website. I typed up a quick resignation letter, marched into our dept. head's office, and put it in his hand. He acted so shocked and even had to nerve to say he thought I was happy there!!! After a long discussion, he switched my manager, called in the HR director to get my position listed in the nonprofit classifieds and I agreed to stay on 2 more months. Then I was outta there!..and no, I didn't have another job lined up. But the feeling of liberation was worth it and not having that stress enabled me to focus on my job search which led to a really great opportunity.
The moral of the story: Sometimes it's okay to over heads to get your needs met in the workplace. It's time to get the heck out of dodge when management is being blatantly hostile. Work should not be an unhappy place considering how much time we spend there
**I typed out a big long message and then got an error! Please tell me you got it!**
I have left a job where the mgmt sucked. I put up with a lot of BS though - like 3.5 years of poor mgmt (with a brief 6 month respite of having a good mgr who bailed when he realized he had no options to move up the ranks at the company).
Staying depends on your situation - like, right now, a bad mgmt situation wouldn't really be enough for me to get another job because I am the only one working. So my tolerance is going to be high.
1. This has recently happened to me and I feel I was given an 'out' with another opportunity. I loved, LOVED, my job when I first started it but over time a long list of issues started creeping up. A big part of me wants to yell and scream and lecture, but the part of me that knows it is pointless is grateful for the chute to freedom that presented itself.
2. Again, it is something I'm doing right now. I know that I'm following my morals by leaving the job I'm currently at, but the guilt of letting down the teachers who work for me, at having them have to deal with yet another Director after me, at not getting to work to completion all of the things I've started is so hard. I made a very long list of pros/cons before making my decision and the cons list was full of side effects that I would feel guilty about.
3. I've worked under both horrible and excellent management. In the excellent management, yes, suggestions were taken to heart. In fact, an entire program was changed partly because of my input. I currently work under bad management. I gave honest feedback to a point. When it became clear to me that my input was not wanted (and I'm 2nd/3rd on chain of command depending on who you ask) or respected I decided to find a way out.
These are some heavy questions dear TOOJE - I will say some prayers for you.
wow - after reading your posts i'm more confused.
yes, I worked under horrible management. I called our Home Office and reported her. They flew someone out to interview people. In the end, she hated me more, they only "wrote her up in her file" and I left the job. I think I was unhappy anyways after 13 years there, and it was kinda a break i was looking for to go. But what pisses me off is after i left, she left too!! Errr...
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