Sisterly Saturday

Sitting down to right this, I know it’s going to be much longer than the requested paragraph of my favorite memory of my sister.  My sister is ten years older than I am.  She has played several different roles in my life over the years. She is much more than “just” a sister.  As if being a sister isn’t enough.

It’s funny when your sister is 10 years older than you.  You never are really at the same point in your life.  Even now, that we’re both married mothers, we really aren’t in the same place.  Her boys are knocking on colleges door and she is looking forward (in some ways) to what an empty home will bring, while I’m looking down the next 16 or 17 years wondering (lovingly) what in the heck I’ve gotten myself into.

When I was really little, my sister used to love to take my picture (or maybe I loved to be photographed).  She would hang blankets up like back drops and take our (my little brother, too) pictures in front of them.  She would tickle me so hard that when I said I couldn’t breathe she would tell me I that could or I wouldn’t be able to talk.  I remember her getting my hair STUCK in a curling iron before school one day and we missed the bus.  In those years, she was definitely the older sister that I couldn’t get enough of.

I remember visiting her often while she was in college.  I would stay at her apartment and think it was the best thing ever.  I remember her trying to explain what the vibrator was when we went and saw Parenthood at the theater together.  I also remember going to Walmart and her squeezing a little bit of Phisoderm soap on her fingers and saying to me, “Isn’t this just what you would think semen is like?”  Now, I KNOW she knew exactly what semen was like at that time, and today she SWEARS that this event did not occur, but it did. In those years, she was definitely the older sister that was teaching me things I certainly didn’t need to know about…but I loved it!

I remember when I was in high school and college, I would call my sister to tell her every little (and big) thing that happened in my life.  Every boy I kissed, every embarrassing moment, every love letter received, every sorority story, every time I was bored, it was my sister that I called.  In those years, my sister, who was married, with sweet little babies, let me be so self-absorbed.  I was young and silly and had no clue that she probably didn’t care if I tripped in front of the whole high school auditorium or started my period while shacking with my boyfriend.  In those years, she was definitely my confidant and she always made me feel like these “important” events in my life were important to her, too.

In between all of this, I certainly fell head over heels in love with my nephews.  I remember the day I learned each of them was coming and the first time I felt the oldest kick in my sister’s belly.  I remember vividly meeting each one in person for the first time. I remember the joy I would get in coming home from school to see them and hearing them say my name.  I know that my favorite memory of my sister is when I told her that I was pregnant for the first time.  I somehow felt like sharing this story alone would have been cheating myself and my sister out of 28 years of memories and background leading up to that moment.  Miss Tooje can feel free to shorten this to her little hearts desire, but at least I will know I have shared it with at least one person.

To understand why sharing my pregnancy with my sister was so profound you also have to understand that my parents live a 12 hour drive away.  I had to share the exciting news with them over the phone.  My husband’s parents are, well, my husband’s parents.  They are non-emotional people and neither my father-in-law nor mother-in-law hugged either of us when we told them and my FIL didn’t even shake my hubbies hand, which is apparently their small way of showing affection.  It was all very deflating….but back to my sister.  I surprised her at work that morning after my confirmation visit with the doctor.  I told her I had taken the day off for my morning “dentist” appointment.  When she hugged me in greeting, I told her that the dentist said I’d be having a baby around July 17^th of the following year.

Oh, the joy!  That’s all I can really say.  It was the perfect combination of jumping up down, tight hugs and happy tears rolling down our cheeks.  It was exactly the moment that I always envisioned it would be. In that moment, my sister did exactly what she always does; made me feel like my news was just as important to her as it was to me.  But this time, I know it really was.

 

Written by my dear friend Tracy, whom I've had the pleasure of knowing and loving since we were wee ones in elementary school.  Tracy's honesty and open, direct nature is something I have always been envious of, and as an adult, am aspiring toward.  Love you!  Merry Christmas, everyone.