My kids are geniuses. So are Hubs and I. I think it's time I share some of our worldly wisdom with all of you on a daily basis. They might just be quick one-line responses you can use in your everyday to combat stupidity or elicit laughter. Some of it might be great advice you'll want to adhere to. Take it or leave it, these are some of the rules our house lives by.
The Band-Aid Theory
It's good for everything. Baby got a boo-boo and you had to patch it up with a band-aid? When it's time to remove it, peel it off quickly and without warning. Otherwise, there will be tears and agony, even if just borne in the imagination.
Daycare drop-off for the first time? Take 'em in, hand 'em off, and leave. Standing over the crib for twenty minutes is NOT a healthy separation method.
Bed time? None of that dragged out five sips of water, ten books, and three bathroom breaks. Nope. It's the bath, it's the teeth, it's the bed. End of story. If we're good enough to get in a book before bed (admittedly it does NOT happen every night), it gets squeezed in before bath.
I already told you once....problem? You know those parents. The ones who forever say "I'm going to count to three....." and never, ever pull the trigger. You gotta. Just swat the bottom, drag 'em to timeout, whatever the punishment after three will be...do it. Otherwise those kids just learn how to sweet-talk themselves out of anything. Do you really want that? Or do you want them to expect a consequence for their actions?
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Your Daily Tidbit - 8/30
My kids are geniuses. So are Hubs and I. I think it's time I share some of our worldly wisdom with all of you on a daily basis. They might just be quick one-line responses you can use in your everyday to combat stupidity or elicit laughter. Some of it might be great advice you'll want to adhere to. Take it or leave it, these are some of the rules our house lives by.
What We Will Not Say
I am a firm believer that some thoughts are put in our children's head simply by the suggestion that they could be true. For this reason, I explained my theory to Hubs when TO was born, and asked that he adhere to a few simple ideas before blabbering at the mouth. Here are a few things I will NOT utter to my children. I do not want the mere suggestion that it can be SO put into their impressionable young minds. Follow?
"Are you scared of the dark?"
They don't even realize that the dark CAN be scary until you utter these words. Truly, they do not. In fact, I go a step further and refuse to provide nightlights in bedrooms or hallways. The dark is nothing to be fearful of, especially in your own home. While I encourage imaginations, they don't need one that provides anxiety and fear.
"Slow down before you fall."
What??? Why even suggest that they CAN fall? As adults, we understand that it's probably likely if they're toddlers, but instead try to use words that encourage balance, agility, and proper running form. Lift your knees higher, don't scuff your shoes on the ground, or pump your arms are all perfectly acceptable alternatives.
"Did somebody hurt your feelings, sweetie?"
Sorry, not gonna say it. While adults go around getting OFFENDED at the drop of a hat, I will not allow my kids this excuse. It's a victim's mentality. If someone says something improper to one of my children, we will talk about forgiveness and how we can do one of two things, or both if the situation is right. We can simply learn how NOT to be, or we can use it to help teach our friends and acquaintances how we prefer to be treated. And if our friends don't want to comply, then we peacefully part ways. End of story. It's not going to be a burden that MY children carry around because another person doesn't give them proper respect.
What We Will Not Say
I am a firm believer that some thoughts are put in our children's head simply by the suggestion that they could be true. For this reason, I explained my theory to Hubs when TO was born, and asked that he adhere to a few simple ideas before blabbering at the mouth. Here are a few things I will NOT utter to my children. I do not want the mere suggestion that it can be SO put into their impressionable young minds. Follow?
"Are you scared of the dark?"
They don't even realize that the dark CAN be scary until you utter these words. Truly, they do not. In fact, I go a step further and refuse to provide nightlights in bedrooms or hallways. The dark is nothing to be fearful of, especially in your own home. While I encourage imaginations, they don't need one that provides anxiety and fear.
"Slow down before you fall."
What??? Why even suggest that they CAN fall? As adults, we understand that it's probably likely if they're toddlers, but instead try to use words that encourage balance, agility, and proper running form. Lift your knees higher, don't scuff your shoes on the ground, or pump your arms are all perfectly acceptable alternatives.
"Did somebody hurt your feelings, sweetie?"
Sorry, not gonna say it. While adults go around getting OFFENDED at the drop of a hat, I will not allow my kids this excuse. It's a victim's mentality. If someone says something improper to one of my children, we will talk about forgiveness and how we can do one of two things, or both if the situation is right. We can simply learn how NOT to be, or we can use it to help teach our friends and acquaintances how we prefer to be treated. And if our friends don't want to comply, then we peacefully part ways. End of story. It's not going to be a burden that MY children carry around because another person doesn't give them proper respect.
Monday Mumbles
The last Monday of maternity leave. Cry with me while you read the ten random thoughts going through my mind right now. If you need to get a few thoughts off your chest, play along.
1. What IS it about Yo Gabba Gabba? Really. When it comes on, the kids stare. And stare and stare and stare. Personally, I stare when Puzzle Time comes on with Moose A. Moose.
2. I've switched over to the fancier post editor and it keeps double spacing on me, WHEN the enter function decides to actually work. This is funky and I'm not necessarily liking it at the moment.
3. TMI alert - For those who don't know, breastfeeding moms get an added bonus of a delayed menstrual cycle for....well, it differs for all women. With TO, I was able to nurse for 7 months before it came. With OJ, the flow stayed away for 6 months. WELL, I'm currently having some cramps and it's only been about 3 months. It better just be a side effect of actually discussing cramps with a bunch of girls Saturday night that's making me feel this way. I'll be angry if it comes so early on.
4. I'm alone for the next three days. I don't start work until Thursday, but I've gone ahead and put TO, OJ, and EJ into their respective daycares/before-and-after school settings so that we can get into routine. Sad.
5. My mom and aunt came up to watch TO's first soccer game. In this particular soccer club/league, the Under 6 (as of July 31st) play 3 vs. 3. Two groups go at the same time, so 3 of his teammates are on one little field, and then three others are on an adjacent field. They can be subbed in and out for either field so that they can play with all teammates and against other players. Between the hour long game(s), TO had 5 goals. Yes, I bragged to Mom and Aunt as I counted them up. :)
6. At the soccer game, I also retrieved a fabulous photo for Funny Faces. You'll just have to wait!
7. Did I mention that when I went to hang with the ladies Saturday night, Hubs had ALL FOUR KIDS? He had to transport them from a friend's house where we'd had a BBQ party to home and get them all in bed. Baby included. His first time with all four and he didn't do too shabby.
8. Who wants to have an adults only roller skating party? Meaning you have to find a baby-sitter and we all go out and skate?? Anyone? I think we should do it. I'm 100% serious so call me.
9. Speaking of adults only, I think that Hubs is taking off a few hours from work on Tuesday so that we can have a daytime date before I cry my way back to work. Lunch without the kids, maybe even a movie.
10. On Saturday afternoon, as I was stopped at a traffic light with three little people stowed safely in the second and third rows of my Honda Pilot, behind tinted windows, I got hit on. By the young man stopped next to me. He looked all of 16. And while I smiled politely at his head nod and attempt at conversation, all he really needed to know was that I wanted to throw rocks at his little face because his blaring music was keeping my baby awake. Poor young people. They have no idea the changes in priority they'll experience over the next decade or two.
1. What IS it about Yo Gabba Gabba? Really. When it comes on, the kids stare. And stare and stare and stare. Personally, I stare when Puzzle Time comes on with Moose A. Moose.
2. I've switched over to the fancier post editor and it keeps double spacing on me, WHEN the enter function decides to actually work. This is funky and I'm not necessarily liking it at the moment.
3. TMI alert - For those who don't know, breastfeeding moms get an added bonus of a delayed menstrual cycle for....well, it differs for all women. With TO, I was able to nurse for 7 months before it came. With OJ, the flow stayed away for 6 months. WELL, I'm currently having some cramps and it's only been about 3 months. It better just be a side effect of actually discussing cramps with a bunch of girls Saturday night that's making me feel this way. I'll be angry if it comes so early on.
4. I'm alone for the next three days. I don't start work until Thursday, but I've gone ahead and put TO, OJ, and EJ into their respective daycares/before-and-after school settings so that we can get into routine. Sad.
5. My mom and aunt came up to watch TO's first soccer game. In this particular soccer club/league, the Under 6 (as of July 31st) play 3 vs. 3. Two groups go at the same time, so 3 of his teammates are on one little field, and then three others are on an adjacent field. They can be subbed in and out for either field so that they can play with all teammates and against other players. Between the hour long game(s), TO had 5 goals. Yes, I bragged to Mom and Aunt as I counted them up. :)
6. At the soccer game, I also retrieved a fabulous photo for Funny Faces. You'll just have to wait!
7. Did I mention that when I went to hang with the ladies Saturday night, Hubs had ALL FOUR KIDS? He had to transport them from a friend's house where we'd had a BBQ party to home and get them all in bed. Baby included. His first time with all four and he didn't do too shabby.
8. Who wants to have an adults only roller skating party? Meaning you have to find a baby-sitter and we all go out and skate?? Anyone? I think we should do it. I'm 100% serious so call me.
9. Speaking of adults only, I think that Hubs is taking off a few hours from work on Tuesday so that we can have a daytime date before I cry my way back to work. Lunch without the kids, maybe even a movie.
10. On Saturday afternoon, as I was stopped at a traffic light with three little people stowed safely in the second and third rows of my Honda Pilot, behind tinted windows, I got hit on. By the young man stopped next to me. He looked all of 16. And while I smiled politely at his head nod and attempt at conversation, all he really needed to know was that I wanted to throw rocks at his little face because his blaring music was keeping my baby awake. Poor young people. They have no idea the changes in priority they'll experience over the next decade or two.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Your Daily Tidbit - 8/27
My kids are geniuses. So are Hubs and I. I think it's time I share some of our worldly wisdom with all of you on a daily basis. They might just be quick one-line responses you can use in your everyday to combat stupidity or elicit laughter. Some of it might be great advice you'll want to adhere to. Take it or leave it, these are some of the rules our house lives by.
Do It Yourself
Do It Yourself
 |
| If you want leftovers packaged up for lunch tomorrow, do it yourself. Otherwise, last night's dinner will sit on the stove, rotting. Lesson learned by: Tooje Lesson taught by: Hubs |
 |
| If you don't want to come home later in the evening from a haircut to a sinkful of dishes, do them yourself before you leave. Lesson learned by: Tooje Lesson taught by: Hubs |
Funny Faces Friday
It's that time again! We're bringing a special edition of Funny Faces Friday to you today, courtesy of Rollo the Clown from TO's birthday party.
 |
| Birthday boy |
 |
| Mini Me |
 |
| I think he looks crazy, as does his girlfriend |
 |
| I think my mom looks nice as a clown |
 |
| I'm such a good sport |
 |
| AAAhhhhhh! The nose turned into Pac-Man!!!!! It's going to eat Jasper the Dog! |
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Your Daily Tidbit - 8/26
My kids are geniuses. So are Hubs and I. I think it's time I share some of our worldly wisdom with all of you on a daily basis. They might just be quick one-line responses you can use in your everyday to combat stupidity or elicit laughter. Some of it might be great advice you'll want to adhere to. Take it or leave it, these are some of the rules our house lives by.
Climbing Out of the Doghouse
While it may or may not work, or have a 100% return rate, it can never hurt. If you've said something stupid, done something stupid, looked stupid, the photo below is at least a start to climbing out from under the ignorance rock. A simple text message. It could very well earn you a return text in the category of "F**k off" or "Whatever. You're full of sh*t" but take comfort in the fact that it WILL, indeed, soften the blow when you get home.
Climbing Out of the Doghouse
While it may or may not work, or have a 100% return rate, it can never hurt. If you've said something stupid, done something stupid, looked stupid, the photo below is at least a start to climbing out from under the ignorance rock. A simple text message. It could very well earn you a return text in the category of "F**k off" or "Whatever. You're full of sh*t" but take comfort in the fact that it WILL, indeed, soften the blow when you get home.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Your Daily Tidbit - 8/25
My kids are geniuses. So are Hubs and I. I think it's time I share some of our worldly wisdom with all of you on a daily basis. They might just be quick one-line responses you can use in your everyday to combat stupidity or elicit laughter. Some of it might be great advice you'll want to adhere to. Take it or leave it, these are some of the rules our house lives by.
The Old Adage
OJ was playing quietly in his room. Mama hollered down the hallway if he was okay. He came out to the living room and motioned to Mama.
"Come here, Mama. Come HERE."
He waved her back and waited for her to follow him down the hallway. She peeked into his bedroom, and he proudly pointed down at three wooden train pieces, lined up and held together magnetically.
"I put together, Mama!"
Mama clapped and congratulated OJ, exclaiming he did a GREAT job.
"Mama happy?? Mama happy!"
OJ smiled broadly as if his only goal in putting together the train was to make Mama happy. He must be listening closely to his big brother, TO, who will on a regular basis chant:
Some things will always, always be true.
The Old Adage
OJ was playing quietly in his room. Mama hollered down the hallway if he was okay. He came out to the living room and motioned to Mama.
"Come here, Mama. Come HERE."
He waved her back and waited for her to follow him down the hallway. She peeked into his bedroom, and he proudly pointed down at three wooden train pieces, lined up and held together magnetically.
"I put together, Mama!"
Mama clapped and congratulated OJ, exclaiming he did a GREAT job.
"Mama happy?? Mama happy!"
OJ smiled broadly as if his only goal in putting together the train was to make Mama happy. He must be listening closely to his big brother, TO, who will on a regular basis chant:
If Mama's happy, everybody's happy.
If Mama's mad, somebody did something bad!
If Mama's mad, somebody did something bad!
Some things will always, always be true.
Hair Care
I finally did it. I went back in time. With my hair, that is.
I've taken so much flack from my siblings and Hubs for the short 'do I rocked back in the day. I had a pixie cut from 1998 through early 2002. I went to get my hairs cut (because really, more than one piece of hair gets cut) last night. I usually tell Jodi, my hair care gal, to do what she thinks would be good this time around. I'm not good with decisions about hair.
Every time I go to see her, though, I contemplate getting the pixie again. Yesterday, I did it.
I've taken so much flack from my siblings and Hubs for the short 'do I rocked back in the day. I had a pixie cut from 1998 through early 2002. I went to get my hairs cut (because really, more than one piece of hair gets cut) last night. I usually tell Jodi, my hair care gal, to do what she thinks would be good this time around. I'm not good with decisions about hair.
Every time I go to see her, though, I contemplate getting the pixie again. Yesterday, I did it.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Your Daily Tidbit - 8/24
My kids are geniuses. So are Hubs and I. I think it's time I share some of our worldly wisdom with all of you on a daily basis. They might just be quick one-line responses you can use in your everyday to combat stupidity or elicit laughter. Some of it might be great advice you'll want to adhere to. Take it or leave it, these are some of the rules our house lives by.
Ghetto Fab Savings Idea
Make the kids poop at school. Adults at work. Do you realize the amount of toilet paper you can save simply by eliminating pooh in your house? Not to mention the elimination of the odors, waiting in line for the toilet after dinner (or during, if you're TO and OJ), or the matches saved from trying to cover up your hideous butt aroma. In addition, you won't have the debate of over or under. It could be placed on the roll exactly as the ladies of the house prefer it since they're the only ones who would consistently use the TP, now.
Ghetto Fab Savings Idea
Make the kids poop at school. Adults at work. Do you realize the amount of toilet paper you can save simply by eliminating pooh in your house? Not to mention the elimination of the odors, waiting in line for the toilet after dinner (or during, if you're TO and OJ), or the matches saved from trying to cover up your hideous butt aroma. In addition, you won't have the debate of over or under. It could be placed on the roll exactly as the ladies of the house prefer it since they're the only ones who would consistently use the TP, now.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Monday Mumbles
Ten random thoughts to start off the week. I hope you all have a fabulous Monday!
1. This is the beginning of my last full week of maternity leave. Please weep for me and with me.
2. The Kansas University acquired a new head coach at the end of last season. His name is Turner Gill. I immediately decided that I had to get a Turner/Turner photo. This past Friday evening, there was a pep rally to kick off the season and Turner Gill was the guest of honor. My opportunity had arrived. And it poured rain on us just minutes before he was to speak. POURED BUCKETS. We ran to the car with many of the other spectators, but we stayed and sat it out. When it let up a bit, I ran back out there with the boys and left Hubs in the car with Evelyn. I wasn't going to chance this photo op to Hubs' camera skills. No way. And here is Turner holding my Turner. Isn't he cute? And I'm talking about Turner.
3. On Saturday, we celebrated TO's birthday at the local roller rink. He's gone a few times this summer on his field trips and really gotten the hang of it. I even put on a pair of skates for fun!
4. Last Thursday I met up with my friend Tracy and her two kiddos at the Clifford, The Big Red Dog exhibit. OJ wasn't exactly thrilled to be there, but he also wasn't unhappy. Just very unsure of the crowd. He did, however, give me a pose on Clifford's foot right before he realized that Clifford was "slippery" and he didn't want to give me another.
5. Hubs accused me of stalking Turner Gill, the new football coach since I suggested we also attend Sunday's fan appreciation day on the campus, where he would conveniently be located. I accused him of hitting on the skating rink employee, using OJ as bait.
6. My mom stayed with all FOUR kids Saturday night after the birthday party while Hubs and I hung out with my siblings and aunt. We watched two movies, ate tacos, and were kid free for 7 whole hours! Thanks Mom.
7. OJ cried when Turner got on the bus again today. He also cried when I dropped him off at his classroom.
8. I will cry next week when I drop off Evie AND OJ at the school.
9. Today I get to spend time with Tracy and Mandy, my two SAHM friends. Yea!! I am insanely jealous of their SAHM statuses, but alas...I can do nothing about it. Kids gotta eat.
10. Speaking of eating, I must be doing a FINE job of it because my belly is one huge squishy ball. Seriously. I was just playing with it. It's kinda fun. It jiggles too.
LINKED UP:
Michelle
1. This is the beginning of my last full week of maternity leave. Please weep for me and with me.
2. The Kansas University acquired a new head coach at the end of last season. His name is Turner Gill. I immediately decided that I had to get a Turner/Turner photo. This past Friday evening, there was a pep rally to kick off the season and Turner Gill was the guest of honor. My opportunity had arrived. And it poured rain on us just minutes before he was to speak. POURED BUCKETS. We ran to the car with many of the other spectators, but we stayed and sat it out. When it let up a bit, I ran back out there with the boys and left Hubs in the car with Evelyn. I wasn't going to chance this photo op to Hubs' camera skills. No way. And here is Turner holding my Turner. Isn't he cute? And I'm talking about Turner.
3. On Saturday, we celebrated TO's birthday at the local roller rink. He's gone a few times this summer on his field trips and really gotten the hang of it. I even put on a pair of skates for fun!
4. Last Thursday I met up with my friend Tracy and her two kiddos at the Clifford, The Big Red Dog exhibit. OJ wasn't exactly thrilled to be there, but he also wasn't unhappy. Just very unsure of the crowd. He did, however, give me a pose on Clifford's foot right before he realized that Clifford was "slippery" and he didn't want to give me another.
5. Hubs accused me of stalking Turner Gill, the new football coach since I suggested we also attend Sunday's fan appreciation day on the campus, where he would conveniently be located. I accused him of hitting on the skating rink employee, using OJ as bait.6. My mom stayed with all FOUR kids Saturday night after the birthday party while Hubs and I hung out with my siblings and aunt. We watched two movies, ate tacos, and were kid free for 7 whole hours! Thanks Mom.
7. OJ cried when Turner got on the bus again today. He also cried when I dropped him off at his classroom.
8. I will cry next week when I drop off Evie AND OJ at the school.
9. Today I get to spend time with Tracy and Mandy, my two SAHM friends. Yea!! I am insanely jealous of their SAHM statuses, but alas...I can do nothing about it. Kids gotta eat.
10. Speaking of eating, I must be doing a FINE job of it because my belly is one huge squishy ball. Seriously. I was just playing with it. It's kinda fun. It jiggles too.
LINKED UP:
Michelle
Friday, August 20, 2010
Funny Faces Friday
I was caught with food in my mouth
I think my brother resembles E.T. in this photo, with the fluorescent belly. They both had similar expressions on their faces as well.
OJ looks pained. He probably was getting splashed and not enjoying it. Hubs also looks pained in the background. I believe TO had just jumped on him.
She wasn't happy to be sitting in her car seat. Or else she was pooping. I think it's the first.
His first day of school couldn't go by without silly faces.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Six of the......
.......best years of my life.
That's what you've given me, Turner-boo. I call you that so much that Owen has taken to repeating it. Our little Oboe loves you so much, even if you consider him annoying at times. Continue to set the very best example you can, you've got a walking, talking mimicker behind you. Every. Single. Step.
As for me? You've always been my very special surprise and I can't wait to see what you have in store for us this year. Continue to blind me with your wit and charm, please. I can't get enough.
And at 3. You really started to develop your own look at this age.
Definitely got silly by 4.
At age 5. To think you're now riding this without training wheels.
And here you are, a few days away from 6 years old.
As goofy as ever.
As loving as ever.
As sensitive as ever.
As mischievous as ever.
You went on a play date earlier this week and the mother gushed about what a polite young man you were. You complimented your friend's bowling skills, you encouraged her, you hugged her, you thanked her mother. Your T-ball coaches said you were the only player who didn't whine or complain about the heat as the summer enveloped you during practices and games. Your official first teacher said she never had any behavior issues with you, always complimentary of your efforts, and encouraged us continue working with you because you were so bright.
I agree with all of them. You are polite and loving. You endure what's necessary to do hard work. You always understand what behavior is appropriate and when you can relax. And you are certainly bright. One of my very bright spots each and every day.
That's what you've given me, Turner-boo. I call you that so much that Owen has taken to repeating it. Our little Oboe loves you so much, even if you consider him annoying at times. Continue to set the very best example you can, you've got a walking, talking mimicker behind you. Every. Single. Step.
As for me? You've always been my very special surprise and I can't wait to see what you have in store for us this year. Continue to blind me with your wit and charm, please. I can't get enough.
Here you are at 2. Resembling Oboe I think.
And at 3. You really started to develop your own look at this age.
Definitely got silly by 4.
At age 5. To think you're now riding this without training wheels.
And here you are, a few days away from 6 years old.
As goofy as ever.
As loving as ever.
As sensitive as ever.
As mischievous as ever.
I agree with all of them. You are polite and loving. You endure what's necessary to do hard work. You always understand what behavior is appropriate and when you can relax. And you are certainly bright. One of my very bright spots each and every day.
Happy Birthday T.O.
Mama loves you.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Big Yellow Bus
I didn't cry. Neither did he. Owen did, though. And now I feel like breaking down, for multiple reasons. But I won't. He's a big boy, he's excited, and he'll do great. I just hope that the teachers foster his joy for learning like they said they would. He deserves all they have and more. Have a wonderful day, Turner!
Can you see his little head shadow in the very first seat?? Enlarge the photo by clicking on it and you might be able to. Happy first day of public school kindergarten, baby #1.
Can you see his little head shadow in the very first seat?? Enlarge the photo by clicking on it and you might be able to. Happy first day of public school kindergarten, baby #1.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Monday Mumbles
The third to last Monday before I must return to that thing called work. Anyone have a lifeline for me? Anyone?? Lifeline???
1. Over the past year I let all the television shows I routinely watched slip through the channels. I reformed this maternity leave and have managed to find all trashy TV and take it in, in HUGE gulps. Join me down this trashy episode, please.
2. Bachelorette with Ali. She picked my favorite. Just caught the first episode of Bachelor Pad and I think Elizabeth is a huge douchebag. Manipulative and pathetic. The OchoCinco Show and The TO Show. VH1 specials about particularly egotistical professional football players. I love when they take their shirts off. Dating in the Dark is back - yea!
3. Enough of that. I always have mixed emotions when Till returns from the summer vacation. As a rational parent, I understand that he's better off with us, with our guidance. He's more secure here with some sort of stability and expectation. As a selfish parent, I wonder what it would be like to have just my babies in the home and not have to deal with "older kid" issues until my kids are actually, well, older. But tonight, Till came home and with one question, was visibly upset with his mother and her behavior. The rational parent instantly came forward and took control. I have to do my best to push aside selfish parent in me, take a deep breath, and realize that the longer Till and his mother are separated, the more I AM his mother. Her true colors are filling her complexion and he's maturing into a boy who can see it. I feel for him.
4. Speaking of his mother, her sister tried to "friend" me on Facebook. I thought that was strange, and declined. It wasn't so much the Facebook stuff I wanted to keep from Till's mom, but I didn't want any chance of her finding my blog.
5. Not that I would have any trouble telling her these things to her face. I nearly picked up the phone tonight to let her know exactly how she made her son feel, but decided better of it since he'd be within earshot. I'll save it for another day.
6. I can't get enough of Evie's smile. She's seriously trying to talk to me. Probably some secret about what she caught OJ doing when I stepped out of the room.
7. Driving on the Interstate Saturday, some sheet rock debris flew up from under the car in front of me, leaving no time to swerve. It smashed up against the front of my car and my license plate took a beating. The sheet rock disintegrated and my front end was powdered with it.
8. Later that same trip, a bird decided to fly out of the corn fields and commit suicide against my passenger side panel. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw it flop listlessly on the road. When I arrived at my dad's, some of its feathers were stuck up in the tire protector half circle part of the car.
9. This was the least productive maternity leave I've had yet. But the most enjoyable. I did no scrapbooking, no reading, no major house rearranging or cleaning, no real cooking. I just sat. Enjoyed. Blogged. Ate. I want it to never, ever end.
10. Is it odd that it's been nearly 100 degrees for the past three weeks and I'm sitting here wanting hot chocolate? Well, technically I want to go somewhere, like a coffee shop, and drink it there. While visiting with friends. Childless. For a few hours. Maybe with some whipped cream on top.
LINKED UP:
Michelle
1. Over the past year I let all the television shows I routinely watched slip through the channels. I reformed this maternity leave and have managed to find all trashy TV and take it in, in HUGE gulps. Join me down this trashy episode, please.
2. Bachelorette with Ali. She picked my favorite. Just caught the first episode of Bachelor Pad and I think Elizabeth is a huge douchebag. Manipulative and pathetic. The OchoCinco Show and The TO Show. VH1 specials about particularly egotistical professional football players. I love when they take their shirts off. Dating in the Dark is back - yea!
3. Enough of that. I always have mixed emotions when Till returns from the summer vacation. As a rational parent, I understand that he's better off with us, with our guidance. He's more secure here with some sort of stability and expectation. As a selfish parent, I wonder what it would be like to have just my babies in the home and not have to deal with "older kid" issues until my kids are actually, well, older. But tonight, Till came home and with one question, was visibly upset with his mother and her behavior. The rational parent instantly came forward and took control. I have to do my best to push aside selfish parent in me, take a deep breath, and realize that the longer Till and his mother are separated, the more I AM his mother. Her true colors are filling her complexion and he's maturing into a boy who can see it. I feel for him.
4. Speaking of his mother, her sister tried to "friend" me on Facebook. I thought that was strange, and declined. It wasn't so much the Facebook stuff I wanted to keep from Till's mom, but I didn't want any chance of her finding my blog.
5. Not that I would have any trouble telling her these things to her face. I nearly picked up the phone tonight to let her know exactly how she made her son feel, but decided better of it since he'd be within earshot. I'll save it for another day.
6. I can't get enough of Evie's smile. She's seriously trying to talk to me. Probably some secret about what she caught OJ doing when I stepped out of the room.
7. Driving on the Interstate Saturday, some sheet rock debris flew up from under the car in front of me, leaving no time to swerve. It smashed up against the front of my car and my license plate took a beating. The sheet rock disintegrated and my front end was powdered with it.
8. Later that same trip, a bird decided to fly out of the corn fields and commit suicide against my passenger side panel. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw it flop listlessly on the road. When I arrived at my dad's, some of its feathers were stuck up in the tire protector half circle part of the car.
9. This was the least productive maternity leave I've had yet. But the most enjoyable. I did no scrapbooking, no reading, no major house rearranging or cleaning, no real cooking. I just sat. Enjoyed. Blogged. Ate. I want it to never, ever end.
10. Is it odd that it's been nearly 100 degrees for the past three weeks and I'm sitting here wanting hot chocolate? Well, technically I want to go somewhere, like a coffee shop, and drink it there. While visiting with friends. Childless. For a few hours. Maybe with some whipped cream on top.
LINKED UP:
Michelle
Friday, August 13, 2010
Funny Faces Friday
The boys still love making funny faces!
My brother Jim wanted in on the action too.
And then my sister Leslie.
I said to Hubs, "Make a funny face, one two three!"
And while this might look like my dad was participating, he wasn't. This "over the rims of his glasses" stare (even though I caught his eyes closed here) is what he gives us when he doesn't like what we're asking him. So technically, he wasn't a willing participant but he still made the cut.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Family Exploration
Anna on the left, Leslie on the rightThey've spent a majority of their youth years swapping personalities and keeping the rest of us guessing who would be the amiable twin, and who would be the one to avoid. There were periods where Leslie was so grumpy, we wouldn't even exchange words when in the same room. But then, just as suddenly as it came on, it would slide out of her and into Anna. Never would they both be horribly grumpy or lighthearted and cheery at the same time.
Until recent years. They've started to even out a bit, coming into their own personalities and being consistent. They're 24 now, technically grown and all that. To me, they'll always be eight years old. But they aren't. They're grown.
And traveling on their own. They each took a trip to the East Coast, alone, leaving the comfort of our sleepy Midwestern home. I fluctuated between worrying about their well-being and being jealous that they had the gumption to travel that far, alone. Oh, and jealous that they had the funds to go. At 24, I had zero dollars and positive debt. It wasn't pretty.
Anna drove to St. Louis for a political function (she's a Republican, Leslie is a Democrat) and then drove onto Chicago. She stayed overnight with a friend of hers, and then flew off to Boston for a few nights.
In Boston, she visited Fenway Park (that's baseball for you non-sports people) and a couple of well-known colleges. Anna is currently entering her third year of law school at Kansas University, so it was only appropriate she snapped a photo of the Harvard Law School sign.
Leslie has become a big fan of the group Straight No Chaser. She saw them perform here locally, and decided to find another concert to attend. She was unable to attend the other local performance, but found out they were performing for 2 solid months in Atlantic City. What did she do? Booked a flight and a week long stay in Jersey. She stayed at the Trump Marina hotel, visited the Boardwalk, snapped photos of the Monopoly property signs (St. James, Tennessee, Park Place, Kentucky), and of course saw SNC perform.
My sisters are sweet and sour, mostly sweet. They're honest, to a fault at times (Anna called me chunky and wasn't sure I'd want to don a swimsuit the other day), but always follow it up with their "sound" reasoning ("well, you're just chunky because you just had a baby"). They are wonderful Aunts, always attending birthday parties, coming with gifts, babysitting, playing. Best of all? They still let me boss them around and I love that!!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Comment Consideration
It's time to give some love back to y'all.
1. chacha said... The Bachlorette/Bachelor always delivers.
So glad she booted Ty. I thought he was funny, but he's another ulterior motive dude. The husband and I googled Ty's name for giggles and apparently "Medical Sales" = "Aspiring Bad Country Singer".
Did you watch the Vienna-Jake thing? I kind of thought he was being a huge d*ck. Not that I think she is normal - but I am not really a Jake fan anymore. I get the feeling he really needs a docile woman who is fine with being a doormat.
chacha, what did you think of the ending? Did you like that she picked Roberto? Didn't Ty say on the men tell all that he was getting a recording deal? Am I imagining that?
2. Tracy said...
You saw a a cloud that looked like a Zizzer Zazzer Zuzz?!? You know how freaking envious that makes me????
You will be happy to know, Iggy, that OJ does not like wearing diapers anymore!! He actually requests big boy pants and doesn't want to soil his diaper, if he has to be in it. We're making progress. :) And the ZZZ? It was freaking awesome. I admit.
4. Michelle said... Yeah...loved the Bourne Trilogy. Great movies. and yeah...love Matt Damon, too.
I bet Evelyn took some bee-autiful pictures! :)
And yea...every Monday DOES bring you closer to coming back to work. That's good for the rest of us! :)
Too many Mondays have passed. My time is nearing to return. I am not happy about this, Michelle. Not happy at all.
5. Dorkys Ramos said... First off, love the new profile picture! You look so content and carefree. Maternity leave is treating you very well, I see :)
You are too sweet. I say the same thing about you and loooooooooooooooove. Hee hee.
6. Fresh Mommy said... Haha, I love you!! I want to see Evie's picture!! I loved the Bourne Trilogy as well and so does my hubs. And cleaning and laundry are no longer very high on my to-do list... although I managed to get some done yesterday... and it may or may not have been that I needed clean underwear also.
I'm glad that someone else admitted this with me...even if you didn't exactly admit anything. I took it as "guilty". Because that's what I do...read into things how I see fit.
7. ~Leslie said... this is GREAT!! last night before bedtime i was making silly faces with my boy, laughing hysterically!
like the idea...may join in with you on the next one! ;D
I love that you keep participating in Funny Faces and Mumbles! I enjoy visiting them MUCHO. Or is it muchos? Help me out, DR.
8. emilyc @ Sew Super Sweet said... LOVE LOVE LOVE! Glad we've known each other virtually our entire lives.
And people...when she says our entire lives....that is virtually true! Since, what elementary grade? I dunno. It's been a long time. :)
9. Amy said... I drive with both feet! I am guilty! But I don't ride the brakes...no ma'm!
10. Michelle said... Guilty of #1...don't ride the breaks...but I do have to use both feet at times or else my truck will stall!!!
Amy, Michelle....shame on you two! We had driver's ed (eons ago!) for a reason! :) I think my mom drives with both feet...remind me to talk to her about that.
1. chacha said... The Bachlorette/Bachelor always delivers.
So glad she booted Ty. I thought he was funny, but he's another ulterior motive dude. The husband and I googled Ty's name for giggles and apparently "Medical Sales" = "Aspiring Bad Country Singer".
Did you watch the Vienna-Jake thing? I kind of thought he was being a huge d*ck. Not that I think she is normal - but I am not really a Jake fan anymore. I get the feeling he really needs a docile woman who is fine with being a doormat.
chacha, what did you think of the ending? Did you like that she picked Roberto? Didn't Ty say on the men tell all that he was getting a recording deal? Am I imagining that?
2. Tracy said...
-
Have I ever mentioned how HOT I think Adam Lambert is? I seriously would make out with him in a heart beat, make up and all!! :) (although, I know that was not the point of your post, which is fab by the way)
- Tracy. Poor girl. Why does this not surprise me in the LEAST? I seriously laughed out loud when I read this. It's so YOU to like HIM. And I love you for it!
You saw a a cloud that looked like a Zizzer Zazzer Zuzz?!? You know how freaking envious that makes me????
You will be happy to know, Iggy, that OJ does not like wearing diapers anymore!! He actually requests big boy pants and doesn't want to soil his diaper, if he has to be in it. We're making progress. :) And the ZZZ? It was freaking awesome. I admit.
4. Michelle said... Yeah...loved the Bourne Trilogy. Great movies. and yeah...love Matt Damon, too.
I bet Evelyn took some bee-autiful pictures! :)
And yea...every Monday DOES bring you closer to coming back to work. That's good for the rest of us! :)
Too many Mondays have passed. My time is nearing to return. I am not happy about this, Michelle. Not happy at all.
5. Dorkys Ramos said... First off, love the new profile picture! You look so content and carefree. Maternity leave is treating you very well, I see :)
You are too sweet. I say the same thing about you and loooooooooooooooove. Hee hee.
6. Fresh Mommy said... Haha, I love you!! I want to see Evie's picture!! I loved the Bourne Trilogy as well and so does my hubs. And cleaning and laundry are no longer very high on my to-do list... although I managed to get some done yesterday... and it may or may not have been that I needed clean underwear also.
I'm glad that someone else admitted this with me...even if you didn't exactly admit anything. I took it as "guilty". Because that's what I do...read into things how I see fit.
7. ~Leslie said... this is GREAT!! last night before bedtime i was making silly faces with my boy, laughing hysterically!
like the idea...may join in with you on the next one! ;D
I love that you keep participating in Funny Faces and Mumbles! I enjoy visiting them MUCHO. Or is it muchos? Help me out, DR.
8. emilyc @ Sew Super Sweet said... LOVE LOVE LOVE! Glad we've known each other virtually our entire lives.
And people...when she says our entire lives....that is virtually true! Since, what elementary grade? I dunno. It's been a long time. :)
9. Amy said... I drive with both feet! I am guilty! But I don't ride the brakes...no ma'm!
10. Michelle said... Guilty of #1...don't ride the breaks...but I do have to use both feet at times or else my truck will stall!!!
Amy, Michelle....shame on you two! We had driver's ed (eons ago!) for a reason! :) I think my mom drives with both feet...remind me to talk to her about that.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Monday Mumbles
It's that time again. Time to mumble. Join in if you like!
1. Who drives with both feet??? Seriously? OLD PEOPLE. That's who. Driving 65 mph with your brake lights still on is a dead give-away that you suck at driving, but can afford to replace your brake pads every other week. Obviously.
2. This is a morbid thought, but go with me here. I've had this thought for a long time now. People are always going to die. Most will choose to be buried. Won't we eventually run out of land to bury all of us in???
3. The civil engineer that invented the loud bumpy rails that alert us to upcoming stops MUST have been male. No woman would have wanted to use those obnoxious noises when she knows she has kids peacefully sleeping in the car. Quietly. Soundlessly. Stupid men.
4. Besides having a personal story to go along with this song, I laugh every time I hear "I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls. Why? I am waiting for the kids to actually listen to the words when it plays on the radio and ask me what they're talking about. I already have my answer ready.
5. The answer? When she thinks about the person she sings about, she gets happy and then touches herself by hugging herself. The hugs remind her of the person she sings about. I think they'll buy it.
6. I've had a difficult time leaving Evelyn for a few hours, with anyone. It's not because I worry about her. On the contrary. She's a fantastic baby, and I enjoy having her around. She's no trouble at all. AT ALL. But I did leave her yesterday, with Hubs, for the very first time. I took the boys swimming and we had a great time. It was admittedly freeing to just pump and go and not worry about who would be watching her, if she was fussing, if I had to rush back to feed her.
7. Speaking of breastfeeding, I am tired of saying to those who don't breastfeed, "It's not for everyone," each time they feel the need to express WHY they didn't do it. I have never been a BF pusher and been content to agree it's just a personal choice, but when others try and argue that it isn't actually THAT MUCH better than formula, I start to lose my patience. Breastfeeding was a God-given ability that I think we should all consider lucky to have, it's made for baby, by mommy, it's cheaper, it's convenient, and it's a special feeling to be able to provide it. The next time you think about rolling your eyes at a breastfeeding mom, stop and think about what you're dismissing.
8. On a lighter note, Evie has rolls on her thighs and arms and I love it! It's the first time I've had a baby get rolls. TO and OJ have always been lean babies so this is exciting.
9. Hubs and I watched the movie He's Just Not That Into You last night. I laughed out loud. Some of the high points were spot-on with the cruel dating world. For those of you who have seen it...what did you think?
10. My favorite part of the weekend was my alone time swimming with my boys. What was yours?
LINKED UP:
Michelle
Leslie
1. Who drives with both feet??? Seriously? OLD PEOPLE. That's who. Driving 65 mph with your brake lights still on is a dead give-away that you suck at driving, but can afford to replace your brake pads every other week. Obviously.
2. This is a morbid thought, but go with me here. I've had this thought for a long time now. People are always going to die. Most will choose to be buried. Won't we eventually run out of land to bury all of us in???
3. The civil engineer that invented the loud bumpy rails that alert us to upcoming stops MUST have been male. No woman would have wanted to use those obnoxious noises when she knows she has kids peacefully sleeping in the car. Quietly. Soundlessly. Stupid men.
4. Besides having a personal story to go along with this song, I laugh every time I hear "I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls. Why? I am waiting for the kids to actually listen to the words when it plays on the radio and ask me what they're talking about. I already have my answer ready.
5. The answer? When she thinks about the person she sings about, she gets happy and then touches herself by hugging herself. The hugs remind her of the person she sings about. I think they'll buy it.
6. I've had a difficult time leaving Evelyn for a few hours, with anyone. It's not because I worry about her. On the contrary. She's a fantastic baby, and I enjoy having her around. She's no trouble at all. AT ALL. But I did leave her yesterday, with Hubs, for the very first time. I took the boys swimming and we had a great time. It was admittedly freeing to just pump and go and not worry about who would be watching her, if she was fussing, if I had to rush back to feed her.
7. Speaking of breastfeeding, I am tired of saying to those who don't breastfeed, "It's not for everyone," each time they feel the need to express WHY they didn't do it. I have never been a BF pusher and been content to agree it's just a personal choice, but when others try and argue that it isn't actually THAT MUCH better than formula, I start to lose my patience. Breastfeeding was a God-given ability that I think we should all consider lucky to have, it's made for baby, by mommy, it's cheaper, it's convenient, and it's a special feeling to be able to provide it. The next time you think about rolling your eyes at a breastfeeding mom, stop and think about what you're dismissing.
8. On a lighter note, Evie has rolls on her thighs and arms and I love it! It's the first time I've had a baby get rolls. TO and OJ have always been lean babies so this is exciting.
9. Hubs and I watched the movie He's Just Not That Into You last night. I laughed out loud. Some of the high points were spot-on with the cruel dating world. For those of you who have seen it...what did you think?
10. My favorite part of the weekend was my alone time swimming with my boys. What was yours?
LINKED UP:
Michelle
Leslie
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Weekend Update
It's been awhile since I've had a weekend update. Our weekends are full, but sometimes not. Lots to say, but not really. Seems like it's the same old stuff. We have fun, we visit people, the kids play and fight, I laugh and yell.
It's been an unbelievably wonderful summer for heat and swimming, yet it's really difficult to swim with the 2 and 5 year old when I have a baby to nurse. I can't go to my Granny's pool (read: free but an hour away) without someone else there to hang with the baby while I swim with my boys, yet the people would COULD hang with the babe want to be swimming with us.
And then there is the timing issue. I have to feed her and then immediately go swimming so that I have ample time at the pool. In addition, I don't want the heavy boobage that could potentially leak, which is what would happen if I went swimming closer to the beginning of her feeding time.
Some of you might say, "Leave the baby with your Granny." Great in theory, except that my Granny is 89 years old and finding it more difficult to get around, let alone handle a squirmy 2 month old whose head flops all over the place.
Some of you might say, "What about your Mom or Dad?" My mom did offer to watch the baby so we could swim, but she lives an hour and a half away from my Granny and works full time from her house. We've tentatively set up a time for this coming weekend though. My dad? Well, he might be 60 years old but he still enjoys going to the pool with us.
And then there's the fact that my two boys don't really even like the water. Ugh. We don't get to go often enough for them to be used to it, and so now they act like scaredy cats. Big ol' babies. I don't like others calling them wimps or chickens or babies, though...so bite your tongue even if you agree. I'll get them there. It's just a matter of time. I have to be baby-free and have time enough to devote to each one. We have TO ALMOST there....almost. I will get him there by the end of the year.
With all that complaining out of the way....I need to go pack the swim bag. I'm taking them swimming.
It's been an unbelievably wonderful summer for heat and swimming, yet it's really difficult to swim with the 2 and 5 year old when I have a baby to nurse. I can't go to my Granny's pool (read: free but an hour away) without someone else there to hang with the baby while I swim with my boys, yet the people would COULD hang with the babe want to be swimming with us.
And then there is the timing issue. I have to feed her and then immediately go swimming so that I have ample time at the pool. In addition, I don't want the heavy boobage that could potentially leak, which is what would happen if I went swimming closer to the beginning of her feeding time.
Some of you might say, "Leave the baby with your Granny." Great in theory, except that my Granny is 89 years old and finding it more difficult to get around, let alone handle a squirmy 2 month old whose head flops all over the place.
Some of you might say, "What about your Mom or Dad?" My mom did offer to watch the baby so we could swim, but she lives an hour and a half away from my Granny and works full time from her house. We've tentatively set up a time for this coming weekend though. My dad? Well, he might be 60 years old but he still enjoys going to the pool with us.
And then there's the fact that my two boys don't really even like the water. Ugh. We don't get to go often enough for them to be used to it, and so now they act like scaredy cats. Big ol' babies. I don't like others calling them wimps or chickens or babies, though...so bite your tongue even if you agree. I'll get them there. It's just a matter of time. I have to be baby-free and have time enough to devote to each one. We have TO ALMOST there....almost. I will get him there by the end of the year.
With all that complaining out of the way....I need to go pack the swim bag. I'm taking them swimming.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Funny Faces Friday
Another week goes by, another gathering of silliness. A family affair, as you will see.
TO and I got to lick the brownie batter bowl. Mmmm.
I warned her this would end up on the blog. Hi Mom!
He looks concerned. He should be.
Because the Fish Face Boy is after him!!
Put 'em UP, Grandma!! She's ready to fight.
LINKED UP:
Leslie
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Give Me City, or Give Me Death
Literally.
I come from a small town. My parents, while now living in different small towns, are still in small towns. They have also both expressed their displeasure with driving in big cities. Too much speeding, lane changing, weaving in and out, merging, exiting, criss-crossing highways. It's too confusing and frankly, a bit overwhelming for them, I think.
After my drive home last night (in the dark, "lazy, quiet" of the countryside) from my mom's to home, I choose big city ANY day. Need reasons? Here's a list of them.
1. Driving in the absolute dark of night, thinking the headlights ahead are from just another oncoming vehicle. Wrong. Train. My God, it looks like it's heading right for us! No, just right next to us. Phew. But the engineer decides it's BEST to blast its loud, obnoxious whistle RIGHT next to my window while passing. I almost needed that mama diaper. Again.
2. While my heart raced from the train whistle, the squeals of the train and tracks gave me goosebumps in 90 degree heat. It was like a horror movie had dropped all around me and I had to find my way out.
3. To top off the horror movie, we were on a dirt road detour. After the train passed and we continued on the dirt road, a squeaky noise caught my attention. I glanced quickly out the window. Why, I have no idea. It was still pitch black. It sounded like a squeaky fence gate, or an old car door opening. An overall wearing, redneck madman taking out big city, SUV driving yuppies like myself? Wait, I'm not a yuppie.....
4. Either way, I locked the car doors. Of course, I left the windows down. It was 90 degrees at 9:30 p.m. after all.
5. After we were done with the dirt road detour and back on the two lane highway, the road began twisting and turning and dealing me curve after curve after curve. Being mostly unfamiliar with the winding roads and tired, it's amazing I didn't crash and burn all of us in some deep ditch that surrounded the highway.
6. Or hit a deer. Deer, deer, deer. HOW can country folk think that city driving is more harmful than deer??? On winding roads? At night? With deep ditches for them to hide in and then jump out from?
7. Back on the two lane, 65 mph highway, we encountered semi after semi, many of which had freaky blue headlights that appeared to be dancing as they approached. I anticipated the headlights to reconfigure into some sort of alien monster, snatch the kids out of the car and into their ship, and then transplant me and the vehicle in some oddly mowed corn field.
8. Of course, this could only happen if the hill billy cops who park in countryside crevices, preying on 5 miles an hour OVER the limit city folk, don't stop me first. I envisioned them walking up to my car with a smug look, spiting chew out the side of their mouth, thumb hitched securely in their belt loop, asking what I'm doing "across state lines".
9. This fear of being pulled over is something very real, people. They create these speed traps in between countryside with little townships, pretending that we need to slow from 65mph to 55mph, in case some township folk decide to cross the highway, chasing cattle I assume. And the townships speed change? It lasts for about 0.38 miles. Just enough length for the cops to flag us and ticket.
10. Worst of all? Any of these fears are actualized and I can't do a damn thing about it. My cell phone gets no service in this pitch black twisting world of small town meets small town highway.
I love me some city lights and peace of mind. Any day.
I come from a small town. My parents, while now living in different small towns, are still in small towns. They have also both expressed their displeasure with driving in big cities. Too much speeding, lane changing, weaving in and out, merging, exiting, criss-crossing highways. It's too confusing and frankly, a bit overwhelming for them, I think.
After my drive home last night (in the dark, "lazy, quiet" of the countryside) from my mom's to home, I choose big city ANY day. Need reasons? Here's a list of them.
1. Driving in the absolute dark of night, thinking the headlights ahead are from just another oncoming vehicle. Wrong. Train. My God, it looks like it's heading right for us! No, just right next to us. Phew. But the engineer decides it's BEST to blast its loud, obnoxious whistle RIGHT next to my window while passing. I almost needed that mama diaper. Again.
2. While my heart raced from the train whistle, the squeals of the train and tracks gave me goosebumps in 90 degree heat. It was like a horror movie had dropped all around me and I had to find my way out.
3. To top off the horror movie, we were on a dirt road detour. After the train passed and we continued on the dirt road, a squeaky noise caught my attention. I glanced quickly out the window. Why, I have no idea. It was still pitch black. It sounded like a squeaky fence gate, or an old car door opening. An overall wearing, redneck madman taking out big city, SUV driving yuppies like myself? Wait, I'm not a yuppie.....
4. Either way, I locked the car doors. Of course, I left the windows down. It was 90 degrees at 9:30 p.m. after all.
5. After we were done with the dirt road detour and back on the two lane highway, the road began twisting and turning and dealing me curve after curve after curve. Being mostly unfamiliar with the winding roads and tired, it's amazing I didn't crash and burn all of us in some deep ditch that surrounded the highway.
6. Or hit a deer. Deer, deer, deer. HOW can country folk think that city driving is more harmful than deer??? On winding roads? At night? With deep ditches for them to hide in and then jump out from?
7. Back on the two lane, 65 mph highway, we encountered semi after semi, many of which had freaky blue headlights that appeared to be dancing as they approached. I anticipated the headlights to reconfigure into some sort of alien monster, snatch the kids out of the car and into their ship, and then transplant me and the vehicle in some oddly mowed corn field.
8. Of course, this could only happen if the hill billy cops who park in countryside crevices, preying on 5 miles an hour OVER the limit city folk, don't stop me first. I envisioned them walking up to my car with a smug look, spiting chew out the side of their mouth, thumb hitched securely in their belt loop, asking what I'm doing "across state lines".
9. This fear of being pulled over is something very real, people. They create these speed traps in between countryside with little townships, pretending that we need to slow from 65mph to 55mph, in case some township folk decide to cross the highway, chasing cattle I assume. And the townships speed change? It lasts for about 0.38 miles. Just enough length for the cops to flag us and ticket.
10. Worst of all? Any of these fears are actualized and I can't do a damn thing about it. My cell phone gets no service in this pitch black twisting world of small town meets small town highway.
I love me some city lights and peace of mind. Any day.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Monday Mumbles
It's Monday, oh yes it is. Time to mumble, grumble, and vent. Or be happy. Whatever.
1. Evie toots. All babies toot, but she TOOTS. We're not talking volume, we're talking smelly. I don't get ickied out by baby poo, generally, but I keep wrinkling my nose, thinking she'd really, REALLY dirtied a diaper. Nope. She just kept tooting. And smelling up the entire room.
2. Like father, like daughter. Just sayin'.....
3. It seems no matter what I do or how awful a mom I am, Turner loves me. It makes me feel extremely guilty some days, like yesterday. I could have dangled him off the penthouse balcony Michael Jackson style, and he would have turned around and said, "You're the best Mommy EVER. I love you TOO much!" as he fell 50 stories. Seriously. This child is full of love. For me. It's humbling.
4. And yes, for that Mumble, he was my special Turner, not just TO.
5. OJ, on the other hand, just stays OJ this week. He's been extra awful, whiny, and cry-babyish the past few days. I'm beginning to think it's time for a doctor's appointment and make certain he doesn't have an ear infection or something else to go along with his congestion.
6. When eggs go bad, do they taste different? I'm trying to decide if I'm going to be sick after eating these eggs. I'm not sure if something is funny about them.
7. I've been out of college for ten years. Do you think there's a market in the used book circles for old Economics and Accounting textbooks?
8. My boss just became a grandma last week. She didn't tell us at the office until the day OF the birth. For all of us proclaimed baby lovers, I just find this strange. Never once letting on that her son would be a father soon.
9. Dear Hubs, you are no longer 16. Stop sitting around in your undies watching TV. Thanks!
10. Dear Hubs, you aren't 85 yet. Please remove your hand from the waistband of your pants. Thanks!
1. Evie toots. All babies toot, but she TOOTS. We're not talking volume, we're talking smelly. I don't get ickied out by baby poo, generally, but I keep wrinkling my nose, thinking she'd really, REALLY dirtied a diaper. Nope. She just kept tooting. And smelling up the entire room.
2. Like father, like daughter. Just sayin'.....
3. It seems no matter what I do or how awful a mom I am, Turner loves me. It makes me feel extremely guilty some days, like yesterday. I could have dangled him off the penthouse balcony Michael Jackson style, and he would have turned around and said, "You're the best Mommy EVER. I love you TOO much!" as he fell 50 stories. Seriously. This child is full of love. For me. It's humbling.
4. And yes, for that Mumble, he was my special Turner, not just TO.
5. OJ, on the other hand, just stays OJ this week. He's been extra awful, whiny, and cry-babyish the past few days. I'm beginning to think it's time for a doctor's appointment and make certain he doesn't have an ear infection or something else to go along with his congestion.
6. When eggs go bad, do they taste different? I'm trying to decide if I'm going to be sick after eating these eggs. I'm not sure if something is funny about them.
7. I've been out of college for ten years. Do you think there's a market in the used book circles for old Economics and Accounting textbooks?
8. My boss just became a grandma last week. She didn't tell us at the office until the day OF the birth. For all of us proclaimed baby lovers, I just find this strange. Never once letting on that her son would be a father soon.
9. Dear Hubs, you are no longer 16. Stop sitting around in your undies watching TV. Thanks!
10. Dear Hubs, you aren't 85 yet. Please remove your hand from the waistband of your pants. Thanks!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)