It's that wonderful time again. Bright and cheery, a snow storm on the way, the end of the month at work....just another manic Monday...wish it were Sunday....'cause that's my fun day...
1. I am contemplating a lot of things right now. Who I am supposed to be to those around me, what I am supposed to be doing...the bigger picture, if you will. Not many days go by without this thought, mind you, when your job creaks and groans under your feet. But I certainly got help when I read the following....
2. This blog. Right here. This blog belongs to one of my basketball kiddo's family. I stayed up until nearly 2am Saturday night reading it and am only in the middle of 2010. About to get "caught up" tonight.
3. This blog. This post. Right here. I love Heather and her honesty. She said comments were closed so I went ahead and emailed her anyway. I had to, to let her know that this particular message hit me. And I'm thinking.
4. My own post. Right here. Watching this story unfold before me has me questioning how many times it will be laid before me to finally make me question.
5. Hubs thinks I'm crazy, for the record.
6. On a lighter note, we lost our pizza cutter. I don't know how. I can't figure out who to blame. Yet. But when we realized it, the entire family hunted for the betterment of ten minutes. No cutter. We discussed where it should be, where it could be, where it shouldn't be. They joked they put it in the trash. OJ walks to me and states, "Mama, I did it! It's too late! I threw the pizza cutter in the trash. It's too late. HA HA HA!"
7. He literally said "ha ha ha"...he didn't laugh. They were HAs. Little evil HAs. And then he quickly followed up with, "I just kidding, Mama. I just kidding." For not yet three years old, he's got a funny little personality.
8. Our little K-1st basketball team "won" again this past weekend, but it was harder fought. The kids were a bit out of it, maybe they didn't eat lunch before our noon game. Whatever made them sluggish, we ended up with two of them in tears at different intervals. I promise I didn't yell at them. It wasn't me.
9. I sort of stood my sisters up this weekend by not traveling down to my dad's to watch the Jayhawks play their basketball game Saturday night. They mentioned we hadn't come that way in awhile, so I said well I could probably come down this weekend. At the last minute, our mom decided to come up and hang out so we stayed put. Besides, I would rather go down there next weekend for the superbowl. Love you girls!
10. Mom, thanks for coming up and hanging out, and for babysitting for our fantastic 45 minute date. :) Hubs and I had a great time! We promise to actually try and DO something next time. We just don't know how......
Monday, January 31, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Funny Faces Friday
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| In case you didn't REALLY notice OJ's face in that photo earlier this week |
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| And another photo Hubs attempted to take of the three kiddos |
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| She's either milk-drunk or crazy |
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| Blind crawling is all the rage at daycare I think |
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| I hate video games but at least the boys stopped long enough to smile, teeth and teethless |
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Music that Speaks
There is one truly great thing about a terrible commute.
Time alone.
If you take the time to tune out the distractions that have become everyday fiddles for our minds and our time, you get to truly BE.ALONE. To ride in silence. To gawk at other drivers. To flip radio channels. To revisit the CDs you placed in your car a year ago and haven't listened to since.
I clicked on CD 5, not knowing what was there. I found Martina McBride and sampled the songs, smiling to myself as I sang along terribly out of tune and loud. Very loud. Song 19 came along, and I remembered why I loved it so.
Indeed Blessed is what I am. I realized in that moment, in my car, that while some people say they get 'caught up in the moment', I do not. I sometimes feel like I am thinking through all moments I should be feeling. Does that make sense?
Instead of embracing the hugs I get from my kids and just soaking up the feelings of their little arms around me, I am thinking of what else I need to do next, or what the other child I'm not hugging is doing, or whether I remembered to brush their teeth.
Now, I will close my eyes and feel. Their tiny bodies and hands and arms. I will ask for a tighter squeeze. I will tickle. I will love them in that exact moment.
Sometimes it's not just preoccupied thoughts that deter me from enjoying the moment. It is THAT moment that detracts my attention. There are times when Hubs hugs me from behind while I'm busy in the kitchen and puts his hand in places he shouldn't when the children are still awake. My first thoughts are always, "are the children watching?" or "doesn't he realize I'm just 'touched out' since I spent two hours hugging, scolding, cooking and dishing, bathing, and kissing?"
Now, I will spend more time happy that he's happy to see me. That he's there. That we're there. That the kids can see us happy together. I will spend more time thinking of these lyrics, these moments, and remembering that we are not promised a single thing except what we are experiencing in that instant. And even those are too fleeting.
Time alone.
If you take the time to tune out the distractions that have become everyday fiddles for our minds and our time, you get to truly BE.ALONE. To ride in silence. To gawk at other drivers. To flip radio channels. To revisit the CDs you placed in your car a year ago and haven't listened to since.
I clicked on CD 5, not knowing what was there. I found Martina McBride and sampled the songs, smiling to myself as I sang along terribly out of tune and loud. Very loud. Song 19 came along, and I remembered why I loved it so.
"I get to hear my children laughing
Down the hall through the
Bedroom door"
Down the hall through the
Bedroom door"
Indeed Blessed is what I am. I realized in that moment, in my car, that while some people say they get 'caught up in the moment', I do not. I sometimes feel like I am thinking through all moments I should be feeling. Does that make sense?
Instead of embracing the hugs I get from my kids and just soaking up the feelings of their little arms around me, I am thinking of what else I need to do next, or what the other child I'm not hugging is doing, or whether I remembered to brush their teeth.
Now, I will close my eyes and feel. Their tiny bodies and hands and arms. I will ask for a tighter squeeze. I will tickle. I will love them in that exact moment.
Sometimes it's not just preoccupied thoughts that deter me from enjoying the moment. It is THAT moment that detracts my attention. There are times when Hubs hugs me from behind while I'm busy in the kitchen and puts his hand in places he shouldn't when the children are still awake. My first thoughts are always, "are the children watching?" or "doesn't he realize I'm just 'touched out' since I spent two hours hugging, scolding, cooking and dishing, bathing, and kissing?"
Now, I will spend more time happy that he's happy to see me. That he's there. That we're there. That the kids can see us happy together. I will spend more time thinking of these lyrics, these moments, and remembering that we are not promised a single thing except what we are experiencing in that instant. And even those are too fleeting.
I have been blessed
And I feel like I’ve found my way
I thank God for all I’ve been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones
That love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed
And I feel like I’ve found my way
I thank God for all I’ve been given
At the end of every day
I have been blessed
With so much more than I deserve
To be here with the ones
That love me
To love them so much it hurts
I have been blessed
Monday, January 24, 2011
Monday Mumbles
Lovely Monday to you all. January is nearing its end already, which means we are just a few steps closer to Spring. And sunshiny weather. And then summer. Glorious summer. Go away snow.
1. In the car last week, Turner said to me, "Perfect timing Mom!" Knowing him, I said, "Hitting the green light?" He responded, "No! The radio. One of my favorite songs." I had been flipping channels and landed on Def Leppard's Pour Some Sugar On Me. Yeah.
2. On Saturday I had left all the little people with Hubs and went to get my hairs cut. On my way home, the phone rang and it was Owen on the other end. He kept repeating something and I wasn't sure what he was saying. It sounded like 'I woosoo" but I knew that wasn't it. He speaks, words, but some letters just aren't there yet. Finally I heard Hubs in the background correct him, and he said, "I miss you!" He had been repeating over and over "I lose you, Mama, I lose you!"
3. A friend and I were discussing disclosure on blogs, and what we felt we should and shouldn't share. She made a point that hit home with me. She said, "I just personally struggle with what experiences are mine to share and what experiences I've had with others that aren't just mine to share without that person being able to share as well."
4. I found a great quote that followed suit with our discussion. "I have never been burnt by anything I didn't say." -Calvin Coolidge
5. We went sledding Sunday and it was F.U.N. I actually got on a sled and went down the not so small hill at the park near our house. We had so much fun I almost peed my pants. No really. Moms, help me out here. You know what I'm talking about. Bouncing down a hill with no way to clutch the goods....
6. I said almost!!!
7. Turner and I have started to put together a 1000 piece puzzle together. It'll be something I look forward to each evening, if time allows. Just last night, we put together the entire frame (minus three pieces that didn't get sorted properly and will be found later).
8. I love this little gal.
9. I love these little/big people.
10. I love this guy.
1. In the car last week, Turner said to me, "Perfect timing Mom!" Knowing him, I said, "Hitting the green light?" He responded, "No! The radio. One of my favorite songs." I had been flipping channels and landed on Def Leppard's Pour Some Sugar On Me. Yeah.
2. On Saturday I had left all the little people with Hubs and went to get my hairs cut. On my way home, the phone rang and it was Owen on the other end. He kept repeating something and I wasn't sure what he was saying. It sounded like 'I woosoo" but I knew that wasn't it. He speaks, words, but some letters just aren't there yet. Finally I heard Hubs in the background correct him, and he said, "I miss you!" He had been repeating over and over "I lose you, Mama, I lose you!"
3. A friend and I were discussing disclosure on blogs, and what we felt we should and shouldn't share. She made a point that hit home with me. She said, "I just personally struggle with what experiences are mine to share and what experiences I've had with others that aren't just mine to share without that person being able to share as well."
4. I found a great quote that followed suit with our discussion. "I have never been burnt by anything I didn't say." -Calvin Coolidge
5. We went sledding Sunday and it was F.U.N. I actually got on a sled and went down the not so small hill at the park near our house. We had so much fun I almost peed my pants. No really. Moms, help me out here. You know what I'm talking about. Bouncing down a hill with no way to clutch the goods....
6. I said almost!!!
7. Turner and I have started to put together a 1000 piece puzzle together. It'll be something I look forward to each evening, if time allows. Just last night, we put together the entire frame (minus three pieces that didn't get sorted properly and will be found later).
8. I love this little gal.
9. I love these little/big people.
10. I love this guy.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Sisterly Saturday
Messaging a friend this past week, we were discussing the Sisterly Saturday story requests. She told me that her personal story just wasn't writing itself, and she didn't feel like she could give her feelings justice. Until she could put her finger on how, and what, she wanted to share exactly, she wouldn't be submitting anything.
I agreed. As you've noticed, I haven't shared anything anything yet about my own sisters, or our memories. I shared with my friend that I felt that all my stories were "ordinary" and "everyday"...I didn't have a truly great or groundbreaking moment to share. We commiserated over our fears of normalcy for a moment, and agreed to write when it felt right.
But then I sat here and thought. My memory fails me often. I cannot recall many childhood moments very well, or even high school for that matter. And the stories I recall about my sisters? They center around fairly negative moments in our history together. Two questions:
1. WHY is that all I can recall?
2. WHO wants to hear about these moments?
But they are what they are, they're my memories, our history. I just hope my sisters can jog their memory and come up with a few more positive experiences than me. Sometimes I need reminders that things aren't as bad, or weren't as bad, as they seemed. And then I recalled a few things that weren't so bad....
I remember the exact moment in 2nd grade when my teacher sought me out while we lined up in phys ed class to return to our regular classroom. She pulled me out of line, whispered in my ear that my mom had given birth to twin baby girls. I had sisters! I stepped back in line with a silly grin on my face, friends asking what was going on, and I refused to share my news.
I remember asking Mom if we could bring them to class...for Show and Tell. And she did, one baby on each hip. I don't remember a single thing I ever brought for Show and Tell before or after that day.
I remember the moment I watched my sister Anna fall from the stone bench at a park and crack her arm. Looking at the bone poke the wrong way through her skin still sends shivers down my spine. I was 11 or 12 at the time, she was 4. I recall being at my grandmother's, waiting for mom and dad to return with her from the hospital.
I remember babysitting them during the summers. We played restaurant almost everyday, complete with menus, a table to seat them at, and real lunch that I prepared for the girls and my little brother too. I was always supposed to put them down for naps, but they oftentimes refused to lay down or would stay awake chatting. I had to resort to evil and still wonder if I scarred them. They had a backpack shaped like a pig. I would disappear into their closet, put MR. PIG on my head, and come into the room. MR. PIG was not a nice monster, and he threatened them daily to either take a nap or he would reappear to take them away. Sometimes they cried. I feel bad now.
I remember when the girls were horsing around before evening showers. They were 8, I was 16, my parents had fought that night, my dad left the house. The girls raced to the bathroom, semi-oblivious to what was happening to our home. Anna reached the bathroom first and slammed the door so she could take the first shower. Leslie was right behind her and grabbed the door, her fingertip stuck in the hinge side. She screamed, I was right there, banging for Anna to open it. When she did, Leslie's fingertip dangled limp, dripping blood. My older brother and mom wrapped it up in towels and ice and raced her to the emergency room, I stayed behind with the other sister and brother. They returned later, stitches in the finger. I fell asleep on the couch and when my dad returned, he was upset. Probably at himself for having left the house and not being there when this occurred. He'd never left before like that, but it had peaked. He yelled....at mom, also at me. He needed to blame someone for letting this happen to Leslie, and I was the scapegoat. I don't blame my dad for this...this moment between my mom and dad was one of the last I recall before the divorce. They had peaked with no way back down the mountain.
I also remember when my sister Anna spoke of the "condom" we were staying at in Florida. Poor thing really had no idea she was calling the condo by the wrong name. That was the same trip she called mom's new husband a bastard in jest without realizing it was a "bad word". This is the same sister who stuck her foot in the bike spoke just to see what would happen. Flying over the handlebars would be the right guess, in case you wondered.
I agreed. As you've noticed, I haven't shared anything anything yet about my own sisters, or our memories. I shared with my friend that I felt that all my stories were "ordinary" and "everyday"...I didn't have a truly great or groundbreaking moment to share. We commiserated over our fears of normalcy for a moment, and agreed to write when it felt right.
But then I sat here and thought. My memory fails me often. I cannot recall many childhood moments very well, or even high school for that matter. And the stories I recall about my sisters? They center around fairly negative moments in our history together. Two questions:
1. WHY is that all I can recall?
2. WHO wants to hear about these moments?
But they are what they are, they're my memories, our history. I just hope my sisters can jog their memory and come up with a few more positive experiences than me. Sometimes I need reminders that things aren't as bad, or weren't as bad, as they seemed. And then I recalled a few things that weren't so bad....
I remember the exact moment in 2nd grade when my teacher sought me out while we lined up in phys ed class to return to our regular classroom. She pulled me out of line, whispered in my ear that my mom had given birth to twin baby girls. I had sisters! I stepped back in line with a silly grin on my face, friends asking what was going on, and I refused to share my news.
I remember asking Mom if we could bring them to class...for Show and Tell. And she did, one baby on each hip. I don't remember a single thing I ever brought for Show and Tell before or after that day.
I remember the moment I watched my sister Anna fall from the stone bench at a park and crack her arm. Looking at the bone poke the wrong way through her skin still sends shivers down my spine. I was 11 or 12 at the time, she was 4. I recall being at my grandmother's, waiting for mom and dad to return with her from the hospital.
I remember babysitting them during the summers. We played restaurant almost everyday, complete with menus, a table to seat them at, and real lunch that I prepared for the girls and my little brother too. I was always supposed to put them down for naps, but they oftentimes refused to lay down or would stay awake chatting. I had to resort to evil and still wonder if I scarred them. They had a backpack shaped like a pig. I would disappear into their closet, put MR. PIG on my head, and come into the room. MR. PIG was not a nice monster, and he threatened them daily to either take a nap or he would reappear to take them away. Sometimes they cried. I feel bad now.
I remember when the girls were horsing around before evening showers. They were 8, I was 16, my parents had fought that night, my dad left the house. The girls raced to the bathroom, semi-oblivious to what was happening to our home. Anna reached the bathroom first and slammed the door so she could take the first shower. Leslie was right behind her and grabbed the door, her fingertip stuck in the hinge side. She screamed, I was right there, banging for Anna to open it. When she did, Leslie's fingertip dangled limp, dripping blood. My older brother and mom wrapped it up in towels and ice and raced her to the emergency room, I stayed behind with the other sister and brother. They returned later, stitches in the finger. I fell asleep on the couch and when my dad returned, he was upset. Probably at himself for having left the house and not being there when this occurred. He'd never left before like that, but it had peaked. He yelled....at mom, also at me. He needed to blame someone for letting this happen to Leslie, and I was the scapegoat. I don't blame my dad for this...this moment between my mom and dad was one of the last I recall before the divorce. They had peaked with no way back down the mountain.
I also remember when my sister Anna spoke of the "condom" we were staying at in Florida. Poor thing really had no idea she was calling the condo by the wrong name. That was the same trip she called mom's new husband a bastard in jest without realizing it was a "bad word". This is the same sister who stuck her foot in the bike spoke just to see what would happen. Flying over the handlebars would be the right guess, in case you wondered.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Funny Faces Friday
These Funny Faces feature Evelyn with her brothers. Let's hope they continue to be this happy together. Hugs and all.
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| Sissie girl is about to be on her way. She's finally getting some forward progress on that crawling gig. |
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| We forgot to pull the plug before we snapped the photo. |
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| I am positive there is a bug in his ear...or a binky...or maybe some milk. |
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| She always has that tongue out. I love their eyes in this photo, too. So big and fun and innocent. |
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| I see attitudes in my future. BIG attitudes. :) |
Monday, January 17, 2011
Monday Mumbles
It's that time again, where a holiday falls on a Monday and I get the day off. I would like to spend the day with all my giggling kids, but I think I'm going to treat a special "now middle child" to a day with me. How fortunate is HE?
1. Did I mention that this particular middle child has lost his two front teeth? He's lisping, and it's cute.
2. I do believe that OJ was confused when TO rode to school with him today, and left with me. I'm fairly certain he decided to throw a fit as well.
3. Does anyone else like unfrosted, toasted, buttered pop tarts besides my dad and myself? He always bought the blueberry flavor so for a long time, that's what I ate. Now? I choose strawberry.
4. Why, when Owen and Evie are at daycare and it's only TO and I in the living room, do I keep hearing faint sounds of baby cries?? Weird.
5. Owen said damn it again. I'm pretty sure twice over the weekend. When I corrected him, he said "GOODNESS!" Somebody in this house needs to curb their swearing. I will not point fingers. Because it would take both hands. :(
6. TO's basketball team is pretty good. Did I tell you that? We have a few kids that already knew what they were doing, had a decent understanding of the game, and really listen. I'm fairly certain during our game on Saturday the other team didn't score. At all. Made me feel a little bad, but I can't just ask my team to "let" them have a bucket. They were trying hard, playing defense, and unfortunately the other team couldn't dribble or pass to save their lives. Granted, they ARE only kindergarten and first graders.
7. Not only did our team play defense, they also passed the ball to one another on offense, trying to help get the best shot for the team. I loved that they paid attention and listened during our last practice!!
8. One of the parents called me a miracle worker because of this small feat. "They LISTENED. And remembered." I have determined if it's one thing I can do, it's teach small children in a way that makes sense and that they can remember for future use. I'm really in the wrong profession.
9. I am watching How to Train a Dragon with TO right now. Why am I tearing up as he and the dragon become friends? I'm a wuss.
10. I mentioned that TO is missing his two front teeth. Well, his baby sis has grown in her two bottom teeth. We're a tooth fairy's dream around here. Speaking of, TO and I have to go spend his teeth earnings....
1. Did I mention that this particular middle child has lost his two front teeth? He's lisping, and it's cute.
2. I do believe that OJ was confused when TO rode to school with him today, and left with me. I'm fairly certain he decided to throw a fit as well.
3. Does anyone else like unfrosted, toasted, buttered pop tarts besides my dad and myself? He always bought the blueberry flavor so for a long time, that's what I ate. Now? I choose strawberry.
4. Why, when Owen and Evie are at daycare and it's only TO and I in the living room, do I keep hearing faint sounds of baby cries?? Weird.
5. Owen said damn it again. I'm pretty sure twice over the weekend. When I corrected him, he said "GOODNESS!" Somebody in this house needs to curb their swearing. I will not point fingers. Because it would take both hands. :(
6. TO's basketball team is pretty good. Did I tell you that? We have a few kids that already knew what they were doing, had a decent understanding of the game, and really listen. I'm fairly certain during our game on Saturday the other team didn't score. At all. Made me feel a little bad, but I can't just ask my team to "let" them have a bucket. They were trying hard, playing defense, and unfortunately the other team couldn't dribble or pass to save their lives. Granted, they ARE only kindergarten and first graders.
7. Not only did our team play defense, they also passed the ball to one another on offense, trying to help get the best shot for the team. I loved that they paid attention and listened during our last practice!!
8. One of the parents called me a miracle worker because of this small feat. "They LISTENED. And remembered." I have determined if it's one thing I can do, it's teach small children in a way that makes sense and that they can remember for future use. I'm really in the wrong profession.
9. I am watching How to Train a Dragon with TO right now. Why am I tearing up as he and the dragon become friends? I'm a wuss.
10. I mentioned that TO is missing his two front teeth. Well, his baby sis has grown in her two bottom teeth. We're a tooth fairy's dream around here. Speaking of, TO and I have to go spend his teeth earnings....
Happy Monday!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Sisterly Saturday
I know a girl. She's not a girl. She's a grown woman. A single woman. Career-minded, home-owning, set to succeed. When we first encountered, I could not read her very well. Sometimes, I still cannot. I think I'm getting better, though.
She has her head on square. Almost stoically professional at work, to the point where I wanted to ask her if she cared. I always thought she did. Deep down I knew she did, but she held her face with a smile, always a smile. Why do we sometimes interpret smiles as being more than what they are? I do not know.
Her life was hit with a lightning bolt in 2009. This single, career-driven woman who probably has aspirations of finishing her degree and doing great things as a business woman, probably while finding a Mister to complement her style and with whom she could create a loving life, became a mother of three. Instantly. Overnight, she inherited a problem that came in the form of three innocent children caught in the crossfires of youthful inexperience and misguided notions of the true responsibility of parenthood. A family inheritance, if you will.
I know that she had convinced herself it was temporary. I worried about her. I thought of her when I wasn't at work. Understanding a bit about the legal system and the severity of the situation, I worried that the magnitude of what she was given hadn't come clear to her. She failed to see how her competence actually paved the way for where she is today.
And where she is today? A mother of four. The baby, now two, also inherited from the same misguided and inexperienced situation. This glowing woman who always held the role of responsible daughter and sister, and I imagine friend, came full circle in a matter of months from 2009 to 2010. She found her only peaceful salvation at church. She was saved. She believes with all her heart that her God is good, and that while she struggles with the "this isn't what I had in mind!" moments, she will continue to do what she must.
Even if that means inheriting baby five. Yes, baby five. She shakes her head. She is probably angry and confused and feeling helpless in a moment where she provides a gift greater than I could ever imagine. She is hurting. But she is strong.
And I took a moment, when it was just the two of us the other day, to tell her. I am good with cards. With emails. I rarely get the chance (and take advantage of it) to tell others face to face how I feel about them, about their efforts, their choices, their moments of greatness. I shy away and make a note to send a card. But I didn't yesterday and it felt good. It didn't feel good to see her cry, but I hope her tears were simply a way of releasing pent-up stress and frustration and that it helped her to let go, if only for a moment. I fear she is not told enough of her greatness in these moments over the past year and a half. She needs to know it.
Her life is not what she intended two new year's eves ago. Her Earthly responsibility has shifted and she has faced her calling with a strength unknown to me. Unknown to most of us, I imagine. There are certain aspects of nearly every person in my life that I draw from, learn from, gain perspective from. With this girl, this woman, this friend, I find myself straddled between protective hopefulness, parental worry, and awe in what she has undertaken. I told her that although the life she imagined seems all but lost, the life she has given these children - the stability, the love, the peace, the joy - makes what she is doing here on Earth monumental.
We should all be so lucky to have examples like her in our lives. A reminder that it is so much less about what we can get from the Earth and more about what we can give it.
She has her head on square. Almost stoically professional at work, to the point where I wanted to ask her if she cared. I always thought she did. Deep down I knew she did, but she held her face with a smile, always a smile. Why do we sometimes interpret smiles as being more than what they are? I do not know.
Her life was hit with a lightning bolt in 2009. This single, career-driven woman who probably has aspirations of finishing her degree and doing great things as a business woman, probably while finding a Mister to complement her style and with whom she could create a loving life, became a mother of three. Instantly. Overnight, she inherited a problem that came in the form of three innocent children caught in the crossfires of youthful inexperience and misguided notions of the true responsibility of parenthood. A family inheritance, if you will.
I know that she had convinced herself it was temporary. I worried about her. I thought of her when I wasn't at work. Understanding a bit about the legal system and the severity of the situation, I worried that the magnitude of what she was given hadn't come clear to her. She failed to see how her competence actually paved the way for where she is today.
And where she is today? A mother of four. The baby, now two, also inherited from the same misguided and inexperienced situation. This glowing woman who always held the role of responsible daughter and sister, and I imagine friend, came full circle in a matter of months from 2009 to 2010. She found her only peaceful salvation at church. She was saved. She believes with all her heart that her God is good, and that while she struggles with the "this isn't what I had in mind!" moments, she will continue to do what she must.
Even if that means inheriting baby five. Yes, baby five. She shakes her head. She is probably angry and confused and feeling helpless in a moment where she provides a gift greater than I could ever imagine. She is hurting. But she is strong.
And I took a moment, when it was just the two of us the other day, to tell her. I am good with cards. With emails. I rarely get the chance (and take advantage of it) to tell others face to face how I feel about them, about their efforts, their choices, their moments of greatness. I shy away and make a note to send a card. But I didn't yesterday and it felt good. It didn't feel good to see her cry, but I hope her tears were simply a way of releasing pent-up stress and frustration and that it helped her to let go, if only for a moment. I fear she is not told enough of her greatness in these moments over the past year and a half. She needs to know it.
Her life is not what she intended two new year's eves ago. Her Earthly responsibility has shifted and she has faced her calling with a strength unknown to me. Unknown to most of us, I imagine. There are certain aspects of nearly every person in my life that I draw from, learn from, gain perspective from. With this girl, this woman, this friend, I find myself straddled between protective hopefulness, parental worry, and awe in what she has undertaken. I told her that although the life she imagined seems all but lost, the life she has given these children - the stability, the love, the peace, the joy - makes what she is doing here on Earth monumental.
We should all be so lucky to have examples like her in our lives. A reminder that it is so much less about what we can get from the Earth and more about what we can give it.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Funny Faces Friday
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| Love this little vest outfit given by sweet friends! She loves chewing. |
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| OJ's eyes get me here. Her hair is out of control. TO is sweet. All the time. (okay, that's a lie.) |
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| It's the flying EVE! |
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| Watching the Jayhawks warm up! |
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| Couldn't be a FFF without a funny face! |
Monday, January 10, 2011
Monday Mumbles
Can you believe we're already onto the second Monday of the year? Speeding by already. Next thing you know we'll all be millionaires with new jobs! Wait...no. No new jobs. Not if we've got the millions. Speaking of....
1. We did NOT win those mega millions everyone was talking about. We were THIS close, I tell ya. If only we'd remembered to buy a ticket.
2. TO said to me Sunday evening, "Mom I have something random to tell you. I'm glad I have joints."
3. "Begin each day as if it were on purpose." Great line from the movie Hitch.
4. We had our first basketball game this past Saturday. See the little curly head next to me in the gray sweatshirt? He carried the team's 2 gatorade six-packs across the court to the team after the game. It was so cute and yet....no one got a photo. :( But he joined the team huddle, which was almost as cute. Love me some OJ.
5. Oh, and this guy? #20? He lost one of his front teeth this weekend, right before the game!
6. This chica? Loves having her feet in her mouth. How cute are those baby soft legs, toothless grin, and Raider bib? Can't.stop.kissing.her.
7. But I love her sleeping too!
8. And then this guy had a skating party to attend Sunday afternoon. He's a poser.
9. We went and took photos Saturday afternoon. Unfortunately I am unable to copy/paste some of the results from the online link. Boo. You'll see them sometime, I'm sure.
10. Did I happen to mention here that my Catholic Lady friend Michelle is expecting her fifth baby? We are excited for her and cannot wait to find out what she's having! Congrats, Michelle and family.
1. We did NOT win those mega millions everyone was talking about. We were THIS close, I tell ya. If only we'd remembered to buy a ticket.
2. TO said to me Sunday evening, "Mom I have something random to tell you. I'm glad I have joints."
3. "Begin each day as if it were on purpose." Great line from the movie Hitch.
4. We had our first basketball game this past Saturday. See the little curly head next to me in the gray sweatshirt? He carried the team's 2 gatorade six-packs across the court to the team after the game. It was so cute and yet....no one got a photo. :( But he joined the team huddle, which was almost as cute. Love me some OJ.
5. Oh, and this guy? #20? He lost one of his front teeth this weekend, right before the game!
6. This chica? Loves having her feet in her mouth. How cute are those baby soft legs, toothless grin, and Raider bib? Can't.stop.kissing.her.
7. But I love her sleeping too!
8. And then this guy had a skating party to attend Sunday afternoon. He's a poser.
9. We went and took photos Saturday afternoon. Unfortunately I am unable to copy/paste some of the results from the online link. Boo. You'll see them sometime, I'm sure.
10. Did I happen to mention here that my Catholic Lady friend Michelle is expecting her fifth baby? We are excited for her and cannot wait to find out what she's having! Congrats, Michelle and family.
Happy Monday everyone. Make it a good one!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Funny Faces Friday
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Finally!
I tried writing a post last night, but I just kept getting the little spinning flower in the middle of the text area, not allowing me to type anything. So this is what you get instead.
Hi!!
I hope this Thursday finds you all well. Picking up pine needles from carpet has me thinking FAKE TREE next year. I say that every year and then December comes along and I get nostalgic.
In place of the tree, instead of pushing furniture back around to create more space, we've put the indoor floor trampoline. Brilliant idea huh? It keeps the kids entertained, exercised, and out from in front of the television. Unfortunately it has OJ jumping high enough to climb up and down the arm of the couch now.
TO has his first basketball game this Saturday. I'm excited!! I hope he is too.
Evie decided to vomit at school yesterday and then run a slight fever. It wasn't enough to get her dismissed and banned for a day, but I went ahead and picked her up early. From what I can tell, she is okay....maybe a little worn down, but I'm wondering if it's from teething. She's making silly faces with her mouth, but acting her usual happy self. Oh, and she's found all fours. It's just a matter of time before she figures out hands forward, not knees backward.
Hubs has an interview for a promotion at his job today. Fingers crossed and some shout-outs, please!
I promise a more thought-provoking post later this week. It's what I wanted to write last night when Blogger wasn't cooperating. Oh, and anyone wanting to submit a Sisterly Saturday post, please email me. I'd like to put one up this weekend.
Toodles!
Hi!!
I hope this Thursday finds you all well. Picking up pine needles from carpet has me thinking FAKE TREE next year. I say that every year and then December comes along and I get nostalgic.
In place of the tree, instead of pushing furniture back around to create more space, we've put the indoor floor trampoline. Brilliant idea huh? It keeps the kids entertained, exercised, and out from in front of the television. Unfortunately it has OJ jumping high enough to climb up and down the arm of the couch now.
TO has his first basketball game this Saturday. I'm excited!! I hope he is too.
Evie decided to vomit at school yesterday and then run a slight fever. It wasn't enough to get her dismissed and banned for a day, but I went ahead and picked her up early. From what I can tell, she is okay....maybe a little worn down, but I'm wondering if it's from teething. She's making silly faces with her mouth, but acting her usual happy self. Oh, and she's found all fours. It's just a matter of time before she figures out hands forward, not knees backward.
Hubs has an interview for a promotion at his job today. Fingers crossed and some shout-outs, please!
I promise a more thought-provoking post later this week. It's what I wanted to write last night when Blogger wasn't cooperating. Oh, and anyone wanting to submit a Sisterly Saturday post, please email me. I'd like to put one up this weekend.
Toodles!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Monday Mumbles
It's Monday already? It's 2011 already?? OJ is wearing a collared shirt with sweatpants???
1. Yes, yes, and yes.
2. We had regular pants on him, but I couldn't find his belt. His belt is a necessary accessory. Trust me. Otherwise he's happily mooning all his friends and teachers.
3. My grandmother gave TO (and two of my cousin's kids) a gift for NYE. They were able to attend the Kansas Jayhawk holiday basketball clinic. They met the coach, the players, did a little instructional learning, and received autographs. They also received a ticket to Sunday evening's game, and parents could purchase another one to take them. So I did. And we went. He hung in most of the game, but as we blew the opponent out, he got bored.
4. He was also very, very tired. I think this Christmas break has worn him down. Shouldn't it be the other way around - re-energizing him?
5. I'm out of time so Mumbles will be cut in half today. Sorry! Why don't each of you tack on your own Monday Mumble in the comments? I think that would be fine conversation for a Tuesday post of "Comment Consideration".
Happy Monday!
1. Yes, yes, and yes.
2. We had regular pants on him, but I couldn't find his belt. His belt is a necessary accessory. Trust me. Otherwise he's happily mooning all his friends and teachers.
3. My grandmother gave TO (and two of my cousin's kids) a gift for NYE. They were able to attend the Kansas Jayhawk holiday basketball clinic. They met the coach, the players, did a little instructional learning, and received autographs. They also received a ticket to Sunday evening's game, and parents could purchase another one to take them. So I did. And we went. He hung in most of the game, but as we blew the opponent out, he got bored.
4. He was also very, very tired. I think this Christmas break has worn him down. Shouldn't it be the other way around - re-energizing him?
5. I'm out of time so Mumbles will be cut in half today. Sorry! Why don't each of you tack on your own Monday Mumble in the comments? I think that would be fine conversation for a Tuesday post of "Comment Consideration".
Happy Monday!
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